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Becoming A Man

How To Get Over Approach Anxiety

November 13, 2017 by Mark Shepard

The Better Man Project 003

For Shy Guys and Introverts:

One of the key, fundamental, easy to use tools use in getting over “Approach Anxiety”:

Saying “hi!” and smiling.

Check out the video:
How To Get Over Approach Anxiety

 

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Filed Under: Becoming A Man, Daily Mind Mastery Tip, Dating, Dating Tips for Shy Guys, Hypnosis For Self Confidence, Shy Around Women

Love Ain’t LOGICAL

November 11, 2017 by Mark Shepard

The Better Man Project Episode 2

Love is NOT Logical

Romantic attraction is NOT Logical. Particularly for women.

Sometimes we guys get stuck in an old ineffective pattern of behavior around women. We try to convince them or “sell them” on us.

Big mistake. There is something else we need to be doing instead…

It STARTS when we dudes STOP attempting to convince a woman to date us by “Proving” our worth or value.

Check it out.

  • Any Questions? Contact me!
  • Want to go deeper? Check Out My Courses
  • Want to stay in touch and get FRESH content every day? Check out my Youtube Channel

Filed Under: 90 Day Challenge, Approach Anxiety, Articles, Becoming A Man, Daily Mind Mastery Tip, Dating Tips for Shy Guys, Overcome Shyness, Relationships, The Better Man, The Enlightened Man

Burning The Boats

December 3, 2015 by Mark Shepard

 

25181353_sPlease Note: This song goes along with yesterday’s post. So if you haven’t read it yet, you might want to go there first: Moment of Truth

Is It Time? Are You Ready To Burn Your Boats?

This song may help you to get ready to get ready for your moment of truth…

There is a long, dramatic story behind this song which I won’t bore you with.

Suffice it to say it came out of a pretty intense personal conflict in a business relationship I was in that started out promising and then devolved into a massive exercise in ego… And it wasn’t just my business partner’s ego and attachment. I own my piece of the dysfunction.

But the the “moment of truth” here is that ultimately we don’t have time to waste on that crap!

We ALL have only a limited “engagement” here on the stage of life.

Military leaders have understood for thousands of years that warriors with their backs to the sea and no way to get back home other than fight to survive, WILL put absolutely EVERYTHING into the “task at hand”.

The real question is “What can YOU do today in YOUR life that you’ve been putting off because it’s too big, too crazy, too ‘this’ or ‘that?'” What escape routes do you need to close so you will do today what you’ve been putting off?

What if you just did one little thing towards your big dream today?

Sharing this song with you is my little step today. What’s yours? Of course it could be listening to this song! LOL

Go GET ’em Tiger! :o)

Please click the arrow to play:

Boats Are Burning

Song #403 | 10/25/09   |  CD: TBD

I wish that I could tell you what you wanted to hear
I wish I could tell you that there’s nothing to fear
But I don’t have time to argue any more
Because the boats are burning on the shore
You can choose to think the thoughts you’ve always thought to think
You can medicate the pain with something strong to drink
But it won’t drown out the wolves howling at your door
Because the boats are burning on the shore

Refrain:
The boats are burning There is no turning back
The boats are burning on the shore
Your life is calling, stop stalling and attack
The boats are burning on the shore

Sometimes you have to do what no one else has done
Sometimes you have to walk when you would much rather run
You can see your self as rich or see your self as poor
But the boats are burning on the shore
Our backs are to the sea and there’s no where else to flee
So we must move forward ever more fiercely
There’s no time for you to add up what you’re due
The boats are burning on the shore

Refrain:

I don’t have time to explain it all to you
Or to take classes in your school of fools
I’m playing by a brand new set of rules
Cause the boats are burning on the shore
This is not a drill It’s either kill or be killed
We’ll either stand or fall but there’s no-one left to call
So lead or follow or get the hell out of the way
Cause the boats are burning on the shore

Refrain:

Look away if you want to or stare into the flames
Focus on your anger or focus on your pain
Either way you may not live to see another day
Cause the boats are burning on the shore
I rather go down fighting knowing that I’d done my best
If I take a bullet I’d prefer it in the chest
Than hiding in a cubicle or clinging to a desk
The boats are burning on the shore

copyright 2009-2015 by Mark Shepard. All Rights Reserved. Used with Permission.
Photo credit – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo

If you are ready to go deeper with your own health, fitness, or mind mastery, the perfect place to start is with your body. Without the solid foundation of health, wellness, high energy and useable physical strength and vitality, our dreams stay dreams.

I’d like to invite you to join me in my own “leveling up” by checking out  my “It’s Not Just About The Food” Course… It’s being offered at my special “beta-test” price for a limited time and I’m continually updating and upgrading it as I doggedly pursue my “quest for abs”. Check it out: It’s Not Just About The Food

Questions? Comments? Success Stories? Lemme Know!

Filed Under: Appointments with yourself, Articles, Becoming A Man, Daily Mind Mastery Tip, Dominant Thoughts, Eliminating Routines, Empowerment Songs, Freedom, Goal Setting, Keys To Cowabungah, Mental Toughness Training, Path with Heart - Massive Throbbing Vision, Present Moment Awareness, Problem Solving, Self Hypnosis, Transformation, Transformation Songs, Triumph Over Adversity

Serious Surfing

November 20, 2015 by Mark Shepard

37567268_mGOOD MORNING TRANSFORMATION NATION!!!

Continuing the theme of Interrupting habits and routines, unconscious “programs” and cultural conditioning this week…

You may notice (or maybe not) that this post is ready in the MORNING. I’ve been doing them in the AFTERNOON…

I’m constantly looking to find ways to “surf” the flow of my days so that I get the most done in ways that most easily flow from one thing to another…

I’m not sure why but I’ve been a little bit OBSESSED with surfing lately…

Probably because I live in Albany NY and it’s starting to get colder and watching people surf in places like Hawaii is MOTIVATING to me…

Whatever the case, I’ve been thinking and talking about surfing a lot lately. I’m on a tear. I can’t seem to get enough. So I’m “following the thread.”

This video highlights the intensity and attitudes of 4 professional surfers and the preparation, commitment and mind set that enables them to put their lives on the line in some of the biggest, most dangerous waves on the planet…

My point all along is that we ALL need to live our lives with this attitude.

Any day could be our last. Make today count. Be a contender. Stop coasting along with the same old same old, “that’s good enough” attitude. Go for the best wave you can and surf the HELL out of it.

A couple of other thoughts that popped into my mind after I watched this video:

  1. Isn’t it interesting that we humans can take something that was originally just for fun… and turn it into a highly competitive SERIOUS sport? Not saying that’s good or bad, just imagine if you could turn your life into a “sport”… whatever that might mean for you. And take your life, your work as seriously and intensely as these guys… It’s the same in music. Most of us “professional” musicians were drawn to music because it was deeply, deeply moving, emotionally connecting and just plain downright fun. And then somewhere along the line we start thinking that we “should” make a living doing it… Sometimes  that takes the fun out of it. But it doesn’t have to.
  2. Even though women are definitely a growing part of the sport of surfing, there seems to be something in surfing for young men that our culture does not provide anymore, namely, the ability to face danger and hone one’s courage and physical skills as well as engage in friendly (and often fierce) competition. In past generations this was a natural part of men growing up and contributing to the community by hunting and defending the tribe. Hunting is a dangerous and physically demanding activity that demands alertness, strength, skill, endurance, team work, and wisdom along with the satisfaction of serving the “tribe”. And surfers are definitely a “tribe”. I think there is something definitely missing from the lives of many men today which may explain why so many are drawn to online gaming where they can safely engage in the internal experiences they don’t get in our culture. (remember your unconscious mind does not know the difference between what is “real” and what is happening on your internal mental movie screen.
  3. Also notice that at least one of the surfers, works out with a personal trainer who CHALLENGES him when he wants to quit. I think that component is extremely important for all of us. I work with a couple coaches who challenge me DAILY to put my ideas into action. When I work with clients, that’s partly my role as well. I do not “fix” anybody. I teach, I train, I encourage, I challenge… Most of the time gently. LOL. But there is always an investment and commitment with no guarantee of immediate results. None of these surfers is “guaranteed” to win any completion or to even LIVE another day (which leads me to my next thought).
  4. These surfers are also well aware that people die surfing. But I bet if you asked them they would insist that they would rather die surfing than die from sitting in an office chair all day… slowly (and I’m already working on a post for tomorrow that addresses this issue…)

Und now I must catch the next wave…of my day…

Here’s what I’m working on next: I’m setting up the beta test invitation page today for my “Stop Smoking Dammit” course which I made last Spring but then set aside to work on my CRUSH anxiety NOW and CRUSH anxiety FOREVER Courses.

Although it’s specifically for quitting smoking, the “getting ready to quit” modules are perfect for pretty much any change you want to make in your life…

If you want to go deeper with that check out this link: “Stop Smoking Dammit” course

(just give me a chance to get something up there that you can “click” on)

in the mean time…

COWABUNGAH BABY!

rock your life today ok?

(and I will see YOU on the INSIDE!)

– Mark

p.s. If any of you are local to Albany NY you might want to join me and some of my best musical friends, Roger Mock, Mike Covey, Zelda Hotaling, Leslie Thornton and some surprise buds for  the Unity Church “OneSong” evening musical meditation from 6-7 pm Sunday November 22 at Unity Church in Albany 21 King Ave, Albany NY 12206. We will be “surfing the sound” an you can add your voice as well.

photo credit – Copyright: trubavin / 123RF Stock Photo

Filed Under: Articles, Becoming A Man, Cultural Conditioning, Daily Mind Mastery Tip, Eliminating Routines, Flow States, Path with Heart - Massive Throbbing Vision, Sports Hypnosis, Work

Being Honest

March 5, 2015 by Mark Shepard

28604925_sThis is a huge subject and one I think that you might want to consider diving in to.

We are all fvcking liars.

Mostly we lie to ourselves and to our women. “no you don’t look fat in those jeans” and “No I’m not attracted to your best friend” because we don’t want to deal with the negative uncomfortable feelings that come up when a woman is upset and unpredictable.

It rattles us and causes us to “tell her what she wants to hear”.

I’m here to tell you that is just about the most selfish, cruel and ultimately self destructive thing you can do. It’s also extremely “low status” and one of the secret reasons why women “lose attraction” for their man.

We ought to man up and start telling the truth…

Like instead of “OK let’s be monogamous”, how about, “Hey I really like you and I’m attracted to you and it feels like we are heading somewhere really cool together, and because I deeply respect you I have to be honest, [notice there was no “but”] and tell you that I don’t really feel like I can make that kind of a commitment yet. Not sure I could ever make that.”

You know? Imagine being man enough to actually say whatever is true for you… right then and there.

This last scenario would have saved me 4 years of relationship angst and personal pain, not to mention untended trauma inflicted on my last girlfriend… who wanted “the One”. Who wanted Monogamy and Exclusivity.

We were getting hot and heavy and moved into her bedroom. Naked. Passion flowing and Juices dripping…. and THAT’S when she said, “If we do this it HAS to be monogamous.”

  • If it hadn’t been soooo long since I’d had sex….
  • If she wasn’t so Hot….
  • If I wasn’t so lonely…

I SHOULD have said, “well, I really like you and I’m really hot to have great sex with you, and I don’t feel like I can honestly make that kind of promise to you until AFTER we’ve had sex for a while.”

I should have been willing to WALK THE FVCK AWAY. But I didn’t have the balls because I wanted her right then. And so I lied. I said, Ok. Let’s be monogamous. I actually almost believed it when I said it…

BOOM! how many fvcking seconds did that take?

And I was caught by my pubes… AGAIN.

You see, I was raised by a powerful, dominant mother who preached, “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.” And a father who said, “Always keep your promises.”

Shit.

And we all live in the  culture of the “white lie” where we tell each other harmless little fibs so everybody feels better about themselves and their fat asses and small dicks.

I have a good friend who is cheating on his wife.

I don’t blame him.

I think she’s a narcissistic professional “victim”. But she just went through a “really tough time” so he doesn’t want to tell her their marriage is over because it would get her upset. Then there were the holidays… he didn’t want to upset her then… then there was a lot going on at work…. then her birthday was coming up and that wouldn’t be right…

He didn’t want to tell her then because it would be too cruel… and he finally admitted, stressful for him…

And that is the most honest reason he has given…. He doesn’t want to deal with her shit so it is much easier for him to just fvck some other woman while his wife is going through her “tough” time…

So he has just closed down…. “Don’t you love me anymore?” she whines. “sure dear…” Then he changes the subject. Somehow he thinks he’s fooling her.

REALLY!?

She probably knew months ago but she’s a fvcking liar too… She’s probably waiting to divorce HIS ass until she can get her claws on some more of his money… or until she can afford her own place…

Change a few details and this describes most of the shitty relationships in our culture…

We are now several generations of men who were raised by women, taught by women and now often work for women… Women who they have been trained to please and obey. It’s kind of nauseating to me now… the way I worried so fucking much about upsetting “her”. Mostly beause if I upset her she would take away the thing I really was hanging out with her to get, SEX.

Isn’t it ridiculous that so many of us make our fvcking deals with the fvcking “devil” in the lame hopes of getting sex. But ironically being pliable pleasers and “yes” men to our women, not only turns them off sexually but it pisses them off in ways that they are not even aware of.

Even the most “liberated ” woman unconsciously wants a man who is not afraid of her. She wants a man who isn’t threatened by her emotional storms. Who allows her to express herself without having to edit or censer herself in order to “Pwotect his wittle feeewings”.

So in other words his fear of her anger causes him to lie about his true feelings and desires so he hides his true self… and attempts to manipulate her into having sex… His truth may be that he just wants to fuck her and then do his own thing.

His truth may be that he isn’t really attracted to fat women. She USED to be slender. But now she’s 50 pounds heavier and is jamming food in her mouth so fast it’s obvious it ain’t gonna change very soon.

But if he tells her she IS fat and not just in those jeans, she will get upset and yell and throw things or make things very uncomfortable for him. AND she will damn well NOT be giving any blow jobs in the near future… No backrubs. Not making any dinner either… So instead of leading her with his powerful masculine energy, He abdicates his power to her and while she may at first enjoy having things her way, ultimately she will be miserable as well…

The bottom line is that she can’t trust him. And the reality is we tell ourselves we that the white lies are to protect the other person’s feelings. The truth is we are really lying to ourselves. We are lying to protect ourselves from having to deal with conflict or unpleasant interactions.

But if he was honest from the beginning. She would have been able to make her own decision about whether she wanted to fvck him anyway…. (news: they often want to fvck you anyway. It’s usually just a test so she can justify fvcking you without feeling like a slut or that she’s too easy.)

And yeah, women lie too.

But if you are ready to step in to your power as a man, you won’t need to lie any more. You will never again have to worry about not getting enough sex. You will never again have to lie to get what you want. You won’t need to.

To get first crack at my new course: “Stepping In To Your Power as a Man” opt in below this post.

If now is the time to take action click the button below…

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…

Let’s talk

Photo – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo

Filed Under: Becoming A Man, Breaking Up, Honesty, Relationships, The Enlightened Man

On Being A Man

January 28, 2015 by Mark Shepard

Hey guys, had a few short thoughts the other night that I want to share with you. Basically why being a man (particularly as we grow and mature) is AWESOME! do we have challenges with the sexual organ between our… ears?

Yep.

But that is just part of the opportunity to become an even better lover… watch and learn more.

If now is the time to take action click the button below…

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…

Let’s talk

Photo – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo

Filed Under: Becoming A Man

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A few testimonials…

Leaving my fears in the dust…

“It is a journey and Mark has shared a lot of great, drug free techniques that I intend to KEEP practicing as I leave my fears in the dust once and for all.”

Cheryl

One day I just stopped wanting all the sweets…

“It wasn’t an ‘instant’ fix. It took a little while but one day I just stopped wanting all the sweets that I used to crave. Now I’m drinking more water and loving my body more.”

Kay F.

I’ve been applying the techniques…

“Thank you Mark! I’ve been applying the techniques you taught us last week, and DAMN, it seems to be working already (but I’m not positive yet). I also wanted to tell you that I think you’ve got a real winner in your ‘Rain’ song. Ever since I heard it, I can’t get it out of my head! You’re the Best!”

Kate

Excellent customer service

“Excellent customer service. Thanks a lot!!!!!!”

Luis C.

Anxiety is GONE!

“Oh my god… when you said ‘now where’s the anxiety?’ it gave me the biggest grin I’ve had in a long time… ‘cuz it was GONE! This is genius! You’re a genius sir!”

Jay

Panic attacks gone for good…

“When I woke up this morning I was thinking about my panic attacks. I could not remember that last time I had one! I used the techniques in your CRUSH Anxiety Program. Thank you so much for all your help.”

Robin

You are a ROCKSTAR!

“Thank you for your work, Mark! You are a ROCKSTAR! The best kind. Full of love and life!”

Leslie M. Thornton

Thank you so much for all of your help!

“Dear Mr. Shepard, I killed it with my speech yesterday, so thank you so much for all of your help! And thank you for adding me into the Bully Proof Teen group. I’ve been bullied myself as well so this is a good place for me to learn more. I will definitely take advantage of it. Don’t ever stop doing what you are doing!”

Hasen Khiar

The program is so powerful and energetic…

“Mark provided a lot of information and tools to help me in weight loss and in all areas of my life. The program is so powerful and energetic. The camaraderie you encourage is extremely beneficial.”

Ann B.

I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques…

“Hi Mark, I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques and positive ‘why’ questions. I also bought your song ‘Arise Arise’ as it seems to really help when nervous.”

Jason

Experienced a total transformation…

“I went online and logged in to your course How To Get Over A Breakup and experienced a total transformation.”

Paula

Your programs actually helps me to help my self!

“I’ve tried lots of other self help programs. This one actually helps me to help my self!”

E.D.

Already feel better!

“Hey, finished watching the Mojo course last night, great stuff. I already feel better!”

Todd

Used your courses to great effect…

“I’ve used your Shy Guy Help and ED courses to great effect, thank you!”

Ian

Honest and compassionate…

“I loved all the ‘transformation tools.’ I use them every day. I feel positive – self love. Mark worked hard and really cares about us. …very giving – honest and compassionate – thank you!”

Susan C.

Haven’t felt this good for a long time…

“I haven’t felt this good for a long time and it’s a great feeling. I just wanted to say thank you so much and I really appreciate all your help.”

Kent

A miracle!

“Mark’s intensive phobia-releasing session CURED me. The ‘trigger’ no longer causes me to shake and tremble. That’s a miracle! The healing affected more than just me.”

A. Hart

Very helpful…

“The information you are providing in the “CRUSH anxiety NOW!” course is very helpful. Thanks, Mark! BTW, I love your music, too. :-)”

Beth P.

Already noticing huge progress!

“I have really enjoyed watching all of your videos, and I am already noticing huge progress! I go through all of your recommended self-hypnosis on a daily basis and notice improvement each day.”

Chris

I can’t thank you enough!

“I want to thank you for EVERYTHING you did for me! Ran the 48.6 miles last weekend. That is huge as when I first saw you I couldn’t even run outdoors without anxiety. I can’t thank you enough!”

John B.

Makes it easy to understand…

“Oh man Mark. This is what I needed today. You explain things so well that makes it easy to understand. You my friend are awesome at what you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Linda

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