Master Your Mind... for a Change
The Better Man Project 003
For Shy Guys and Introverts:
Saying “hi!” and smiling.
Check out the video:
How To Get Over Approach Anxiety
The Better Man Project Episode 2
Romantic attraction is NOT Logical. Particularly for women.
Sometimes we guys get stuck in an old ineffective pattern of behavior around women. We try to convince them or “sell them” on us.
Big mistake. There is something else we need to be doing instead…
It STARTS when we dudes STOP attempting to convince a woman to date us by “Proving” our worth or value.
Check it out.
Please Note: This song goes along with yesterday’s post. So if you haven’t read it yet, you might want to go there first: Moment of Truth
This song may help you to get ready to get ready for your moment of truth…
There is a long, dramatic story behind this song which I won’t bore you with.
Suffice it to say it came out of a pretty intense personal conflict in a business relationship I was in that started out promising and then devolved into a massive exercise in ego… And it wasn’t just my business partner’s ego and attachment. I own my piece of the dysfunction.
But the the “moment of truth” here is that ultimately we don’t have time to waste on that crap!
We ALL have only a limited “engagement” here on the stage of life.
Military leaders have understood for thousands of years that warriors with their backs to the sea and no way to get back home other than fight to survive, WILL put absolutely EVERYTHING into the “task at hand”.
The real question is “What can YOU do today in YOUR life that you’ve been putting off because it’s too big, too crazy, too ‘this’ or ‘that?'” What escape routes do you need to close so you will do today what you’ve been putting off?
What if you just did one little thing towards your big dream today?
Sharing this song with you is my little step today. What’s yours? Of course it could be listening to this song! LOL
Go GET ’em Tiger! :o)
Please click the arrow to play:
Song #403 | 10/25/09 | CD: TBD
I wish that I could tell you what you wanted to hear
I wish I could tell you that there’s nothing to fear
But I don’t have time to argue any more
Because the boats are burning on the shore
You can choose to think the thoughts you’ve always thought to think
You can medicate the pain with something strong to drink
But it won’t drown out the wolves howling at your door
Because the boats are burning on the shore
Refrain:
The boats are burning There is no turning back
The boats are burning on the shore
Your life is calling, stop stalling and attack
The boats are burning on the shore
Sometimes you have to do what no one else has done
Sometimes you have to walk when you would much rather run
You can see your self as rich or see your self as poor
But the boats are burning on the shore
Our backs are to the sea and there’s no where else to flee
So we must move forward ever more fiercely
There’s no time for you to add up what you’re due
The boats are burning on the shore
Refrain:
I don’t have time to explain it all to you
Or to take classes in your school of fools
I’m playing by a brand new set of rules
Cause the boats are burning on the shore
This is not a drill It’s either kill or be killed
We’ll either stand or fall but there’s no-one left to call
So lead or follow or get the hell out of the way
Cause the boats are burning on the shore
Refrain:
Look away if you want to or stare into the flames
Focus on your anger or focus on your pain
Either way you may not live to see another day
Cause the boats are burning on the shore
I rather go down fighting knowing that I’d done my best
If I take a bullet I’d prefer it in the chest
Than hiding in a cubicle or clinging to a desk
The boats are burning on the shore
copyright 2009-2015 by Mark Shepard. All Rights Reserved. Used with Permission.
Photo credit – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo
If you are ready to go deeper with your own health, fitness, or mind mastery, the perfect place to start is with your body. Without the solid foundation of health, wellness, high energy and useable physical strength and vitality, our dreams stay dreams.
I’d like to invite you to join me in my own “leveling up” by checking out my “It’s Not Just About The Food” Course… It’s being offered at my special “beta-test” price for a limited time and I’m continually updating and upgrading it as I doggedly pursue my “quest for abs”. Check it out: It’s Not Just About The Food
GOOD MORNING TRANSFORMATION NATION!!!
Continuing the theme of Interrupting habits and routines, unconscious “programs” and cultural conditioning this week…
You may notice (or maybe not) that this post is ready in the MORNING. I’ve been doing them in the AFTERNOON…
I’m constantly looking to find ways to “surf” the flow of my days so that I get the most done in ways that most easily flow from one thing to another…
I’m not sure why but I’ve been a little bit OBSESSED with surfing lately…
Probably because I live in Albany NY and it’s starting to get colder and watching people surf in places like Hawaii is MOTIVATING to me…
Whatever the case, I’ve been thinking and talking about surfing a lot lately. I’m on a tear. I can’t seem to get enough. So I’m “following the thread.”
This video highlights the intensity and attitudes of 4 professional surfers and the preparation, commitment and mind set that enables them to put their lives on the line in some of the biggest, most dangerous waves on the planet…
My point all along is that we ALL need to live our lives with this attitude.
Und now I must catch the next wave…of my day…
Here’s what I’m working on next: I’m setting up the beta test invitation page today for my “Stop Smoking Dammit” course which I made last Spring but then set aside to work on my CRUSH anxiety NOW and CRUSH anxiety FOREVER Courses.
Although it’s specifically for quitting smoking, the “getting ready to quit” modules are perfect for pretty much any change you want to make in your life…
If you want to go deeper with that check out this link: “Stop Smoking Dammit” course
(just give me a chance to get something up there that you can “click” on)
in the mean time…
COWABUNGAH BABY!
rock your life today ok?
(and I will see YOU on the INSIDE!)
– Mark
p.s. If any of you are local to Albany NY you might want to join me and some of my best musical friends, Roger Mock, Mike Covey, Zelda Hotaling, Leslie Thornton and some surprise buds for the Unity Church “OneSong” evening musical meditation from 6-7 pm Sunday November 22 at Unity Church in Albany 21 King Ave, Albany NY 12206. We will be “surfing the sound” an you can add your voice as well.
photo credit – Copyright: trubavin / 123RF Stock Photo
This is a huge subject and one I think that you might want to consider diving in to.
We are all fvcking liars.
Mostly we lie to ourselves and to our women. “no you don’t look fat in those jeans” and “No I’m not attracted to your best friend” because we don’t want to deal with the negative uncomfortable feelings that come up when a woman is upset and unpredictable.
It rattles us and causes us to “tell her what she wants to hear”.
I’m here to tell you that is just about the most selfish, cruel and ultimately self destructive thing you can do. It’s also extremely “low status” and one of the secret reasons why women “lose attraction” for their man.
Like instead of “OK let’s be monogamous”, how about, “Hey I really like you and I’m attracted to you and it feels like we are heading somewhere really cool together, and because I deeply respect you I have to be honest, [notice there was no “but”] and tell you that I don’t really feel like I can make that kind of a commitment yet. Not sure I could ever make that.”
You know? Imagine being man enough to actually say whatever is true for you… right then and there.
This last scenario would have saved me 4 years of relationship angst and personal pain, not to mention untended trauma inflicted on my last girlfriend… who wanted “the One”. Who wanted Monogamy and Exclusivity.
We were getting hot and heavy and moved into her bedroom. Naked. Passion flowing and Juices dripping…. and THAT’S when she said, “If we do this it HAS to be monogamous.”
I SHOULD have said, “well, I really like you and I’m really hot to have great sex with you, and I don’t feel like I can honestly make that kind of promise to you until AFTER we’ve had sex for a while.”
I should have been willing to WALK THE FVCK AWAY. But I didn’t have the balls because I wanted her right then. And so I lied. I said, Ok. Let’s be monogamous. I actually almost believed it when I said it…
BOOM! how many fvcking seconds did that take?
You see, I was raised by a powerful, dominant mother who preached, “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.” And a father who said, “Always keep your promises.”
Shit.
And we all live in the culture of the “white lie” where we tell each other harmless little fibs so everybody feels better about themselves and their fat asses and small dicks.
I have a good friend who is cheating on his wife.
I don’t blame him.
I think she’s a narcissistic professional “victim”. But she just went through a “really tough time” so he doesn’t want to tell her their marriage is over because it would get her upset. Then there were the holidays… he didn’t want to upset her then… then there was a lot going on at work…. then her birthday was coming up and that wouldn’t be right…
He didn’t want to tell her then because it would be too cruel… and he finally admitted, stressful for him…
And that is the most honest reason he has given…. He doesn’t want to deal with her shit so it is much easier for him to just fvck some other woman while his wife is going through her “tough” time…
So he has just closed down…. “Don’t you love me anymore?” she whines. “sure dear…” Then he changes the subject. Somehow he thinks he’s fooling her.
REALLY!?
She probably knew months ago but she’s a fvcking liar too… She’s probably waiting to divorce HIS ass until she can get her claws on some more of his money… or until she can afford her own place…
Change a few details and this describes most of the shitty relationships in our culture…
We are now several generations of men who were raised by women, taught by women and now often work for women… Women who they have been trained to please and obey. It’s kind of nauseating to me now… the way I worried so fucking much about upsetting “her”. Mostly beause if I upset her she would take away the thing I really was hanging out with her to get, SEX.
Isn’t it ridiculous that so many of us make our fvcking deals with the fvcking “devil” in the lame hopes of getting sex. But ironically being pliable pleasers and “yes” men to our women, not only turns them off sexually but it pisses them off in ways that they are not even aware of.
Even the most “liberated ” woman unconsciously wants a man who is not afraid of her. She wants a man who isn’t threatened by her emotional storms. Who allows her to express herself without having to edit or censer herself in order to “Pwotect his wittle feeewings”.
So in other words his fear of her anger causes him to lie about his true feelings and desires so he hides his true self… and attempts to manipulate her into having sex… His truth may be that he just wants to fuck her and then do his own thing.
His truth may be that he isn’t really attracted to fat women. She USED to be slender. But now she’s 50 pounds heavier and is jamming food in her mouth so fast it’s obvious it ain’t gonna change very soon.
But if he tells her she IS fat and not just in those jeans, she will get upset and yell and throw things or make things very uncomfortable for him. AND she will damn well NOT be giving any blow jobs in the near future… No backrubs. Not making any dinner either… So instead of leading her with his powerful masculine energy, He abdicates his power to her and while she may at first enjoy having things her way, ultimately she will be miserable as well…
The bottom line is that she can’t trust him. And the reality is we tell ourselves we that the white lies are to protect the other person’s feelings. The truth is we are really lying to ourselves. We are lying to protect ourselves from having to deal with conflict or unpleasant interactions.
But if he was honest from the beginning. She would have been able to make her own decision about whether she wanted to fvck him anyway…. (news: they often want to fvck you anyway. It’s usually just a test so she can justify fvcking you without feeling like a slut or that she’s too easy.)
But if you are ready to step in to your power as a man, you won’t need to lie any more. You will never again have to worry about not getting enough sex. You will never again have to lie to get what you want. You won’t need to.
To get first crack at my new course: “Stepping In To Your Power as a Man” opt in below this post.
If now is the time to take action click the button below…
How to stop being shy around beautiful women
Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…
Photo – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo
Hey guys, had a few short thoughts the other night that I want to share with you. Basically why being a man (particularly as we grow and mature) is AWESOME! do we have challenges with the sexual organ between our… ears?
Yep.
But that is just part of the opportunity to become an even better lover… watch and learn more.
If now is the time to take action click the button below…
How to stop being shy around beautiful women
Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…
Photo – Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo
