Master Your Mind... for a Change
The Better Man Project 003
For Shy Guys and Introverts:
Saying “hi!” and smiling.
Check out the video:
How To Get Over Approach Anxiety
Wow! This video hit home.
I used to be soooo painfully shy that I had no idea how to actually make friends (much less influence them).
I read Dale Carnegie’s book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People” but it just didn’t “take”.
It wasn’t until I moved to what I considered to be the “unfriendly” city of New Haven CT that I started getting serious about breaking out of my shyness.
That’s when I started the “hi!” program. I would force myself to say hi to everyone I passed on the street, in the park, wherever I was walking about town.
And you know what? It was a blast! The first few “hellos” were a little scary but once I got warmed up it was INCREDIBLY energizing and uplifting and saying hi and smiling clearly had a positive effect on a lot of people. Sure, a few didn’t respond but that’s just part of the practice of not being attached to outcomes.
I even had conversations with people. Even women! It was eye opening. It was the opposite of creepy. It was refreshing and life affirming.
This morning I stumbled across this video that suggests a similar approach and I thought I’d share it with you just in case you need a little encouragement to get out of your comfort zone and begin to say “hi!”.
If you’re a guy and you find yourself frozen with anxiety at the thought of approaching an interesting and attractive woman, you might want to check out my “Shy Guy Help” program or consider some personal coaching.
I’ve been there and done that! You are not alone.
BTW my “Shy Guy Help” program is not about becoming a sleazy pick up artist. It’s simply about being comfortable showing up in the world as a confident man who is interested in everyone and able to enjoy and communicate authentically with people wherever you find yourself in life.
And…. yeah. Women find that attractive…
Actually EVERYONE finds that attractive. So check it out!
The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…
Click the link below to:
– Mark
(Yeah. We’re a “gang” today…)
[SFX: Manly grunts in the background, “er, er, er..”]FYI, I am giving myself MASSIVE permission to chill out a little bit this week so my posts and videos will be a little sparse…
I’m going to be interviewed later today at 6 pm on a cool new platform called “Blab”…
Check it out here:
Mark Shepard Interview 6 pm on Blab.IM
If YOU would like to be more outgoing, more friendly, at ease, and extroverted while still keeping all that you love and cherish about being a sensitive, creative, peaceful, solitude enjoying introvert,
I’ve got some cool solutions to share.
I hope you’ll “tune in” “log in” (or whatever it is that we do) today in this high tech world of grooviness…
I will hold nothing back. I will reveal MASSIVE secrets that have been guarded by the Illuminati for centuries….
Check it out here:
Mark Shepard Interview 6 pm on Blab.IM
I will boldly expose the myths and erroneous assumptions about shyness that have been slipped between the
lines of the mass media…
Gosh darn it, if this information got into the wrong hands we’d have too many friendly people walking around creating peace and
love and grooviness everywhere they go…
It would be BAD for the military industrial complex…
If people realized that being shy is not a dread disease called “Social Anxiety Disorder”, but something that can actually be changed without drugs or sweaty motivational speakers, well then, what would happen to the economy?
So yeah. Check it out. Be a radical revolutionary Master Your Mind for a Change…
6 pm. Eastern Time. Be There. You can ask ??’s
Check it out here:
Mark Shepard Interview 6 pm on Blab.IM
Shyness Sucks. Learn how you too can
Get Over It, Faster, Easier, Better.
cowabungah baby.
– Mark
p.s. Hey. Happy New Year. 2016 is going to be
AWESOME!
Hey Guys,
Mark Shepard here, it’s been a little while since I posted and I would love to share with you why.
First of all I need to let you know as clearly as I can that everything I write about, everything I suggest here on this site, is something that I have experienced or helped and actual client with.
I am sitting in a coffee shop right now in San Francisco California, spent the weekend here working with an amazing team of dating and relationship coaches led by Adam Gilad.
I have been working on improving my success with women and relationships since 1998 when I left my 13 year marriage.
I would have never even been married if it hadn’t been for my wife approaching ME. Shyness was a serious, serious problem.
I jumped from that marriage into a 3 year relationship that almost immediately made me feel trapped and desperate. I was a master at giving away my power and feeling frustrated and stuck in just about every area of my life.
So I started working on my shit.
The first step was realizing it WAS my shit. Mine. I created it. With my thoughts. With my beliefs. With my old habits of behavior. With the meanings I attached to every outcome. If things went the way I wanted I was on top of the world if they didn’t I would crash and burn. Hard.
I yearned and longed for “unattainable women”. unable to connect. Unable to stay firmly rooted in my masculine, empowered energy.
I had grown up hearing from my mom and other well intentioned feminists that basically “men were bad.” “men oppressed women with there dog like lust and pushyness” So I chose to reject the male and instead neutered myself into a “safe” “harmless’ “Nice” guy.
Talk about panic attacks! Talk about anxiety?
It was only sheer desperate loneliness that forced me to try online dating and to read book after book about dating and pickup techniques (none of which I could actually get myself to do). To this day I think most pickup techniques are somewhat… repulsive. I get why they are possible and why they sometimes work. Ultimately it seems like “pickup” is mostly to fool guys into thinking that they actually have a chance with a particular woman so they actually initate a conversation.
It is a testament to the wonder of women that they actually will respond to some of the dumb ass tricks and manipulative games…
But really, really sharp women?
They want something deeper and more authentic.
Chances are you are a brilliant, smart, kind, sensitive, caring human being. Chances are you have been bombarded with all the well meaning cultural crap like I was. Chances are you overheard attractive women complaining about guys constantly pestering them and bothering them and interrupting them to “hit” on them.
Just recently I heard two women talking as I was walking down the street. “What are you doing later?” woman number 1 asked, “Oh” replied woman number 2, “this guy has been bothering me to go out with him…” her whole attitude was only slightly less vehement than outright disgust.
The fact that you are shy and actually reading this tells me a few things.
Let’s face it we have more access to porn in this generation that ever before. It’s understandable and natural so no shame about it. but eventually you are going to want to actually touch and be touched by a real live woman.
Am I right?
The good news is that if you are shy, we can start from the ground up creating you into the kind of guy that not gets the women you want but gets the LIFE you want.
I’ve got to stop right now and catch my shuttle to the airport but I will continue.
And you might want to pay close attention to what I’m going to talk about next. Until then and all the best!
If now is the time to take action click the button below…
How to stop being shy around beautiful women
Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…
2 Key techniques for managing social anxiety or shyness…when you first meet a new acquaintance that not only put you at ease, they also put your new friend at ease and make both of you so comfortable that you can easily make friends and feel great in any social setting!
One of my “Transformation Nation” members from Greece asked a really good question this morning about overcoming shyness and social anxiety when meeting new people. I thought I’d share my answer not just with him but with all of you.
He asked:
I used the technique of the time-line with the fifteen minutes and it helped me a lot before going out with people who I am not very close. But when I talk with these people, at first I still feel anxious. I would like to ask for your opinion. What do you think that I should do at the very same time that I talk with these people? Thank you very much for your time.
Here’s a tip from one of my other programs that might help you to feel comfortable around other people. It involves matching and mirroring the other person’s blinking and breathing to create rapport. Rapport works for you as well as for the other person.
It’s about putting both of you at ease.
By the way, I have a program for guys called “Shy Guy Help” that you might want to check out if his story or situation is something you can relate to….
These two things can be used separately or together. You don’t have to do them every moment, just from time to time.
Another part of this is a big piece of the shyness/ social anxiety issue. When we are shy we are basically being self focused. In order to change our focus, looking outward and focusing on making another person feel comfortable can itself be healing and therapeutic. It can even act like a “pattern interrupt” stopping the old, habitual shyness / social anxiety program from running.
You can also imagine going out 15 minutes past this event and looking back seeing yourself actually having a good time and meeting some great new friends.
When I started doing this I was amazed at the deep friendships I made easily.
Thank you so much for your question and for actually using the tools! So many people say they want change but they seem to not actually want to have to do anything!
Bravo for you! Your question helps me to help more people.
Please imagine, My thoughts and support surrounding you and helping you to feel comfortable and confident no matter where you go.
The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…
Click the link below to:
Or just leave a comment below 🙂
