Honest Hypnosis

Master Your Mind... for a Change

Dealing with Difficult People

5 Holiday Mind Hacks

by

8251731_mFive Jedi Holiday Mind Hacks

(To Help You Survive Close Contact with Those Alien Beings We Call “Relatives”)

Chances are as we look ahead to this long Thanksgiving weekend, you are going to come into contact with people who you may or may not see very often.

RELATIVES…

You may love and adore them…

Maybe you can’t get enough of them and seeing them during the holidays is the most fun you can imagine having…

Or maybe you love them dearly… in small quantities, from afar…

Or you may be actually DREADING hanging out with them for 1, 2, 3, or more days. The slow, water torture that threatens your sanity and your digestive system…

Here’s a quick set of 5 Jedi Mind Mastery Tools to help you get through without chewing your own hind leg off to get out of the “trap” of “familial obligations”.

Here’s pretty much the same thing I just said in the video but “wrote-out” fer yah in case yer a “word person”.

  1. Take Response-Ability For Your Own Well Being.
    Remember that you choose your thoughts and you DECIDED to be here. Take Response-ability for your own emotions and well being. These people may not “get” you. But you can “get” them. If your relatives weren’t actual real people but part of the built in “program” of the Jedi Warrior’s “Game of life”. How could you shine your spirit with their helpful input and empower yourself to appreciate whatever “lessons” they are helping you learn. In other words, stop thinking like a victim, and “use” this opportunity to “level up.”
  2. Change Your Focus. Remember that this is temporary. You WILL live through this. :o)
  3. Practice Laughing At Yourself.
    Use this as an opportunity to learn to laugh at yourself a little more easily. Especially when Uncle Charlie starts handing out his somewhat crude and tasteless “gag” gifts… or starts telling the same jokes that he told you LAST year that were embarrassing to  pretty much everyone present. It could also be your opportunity to try out some weird subtle joke that NO ONE else will get… Just drop that in and have fun watching while people either pretend to get it… (they don’t hee hee), or stare at you cluelessly and ask for an explanation… Then explain it in such minute detail that they start to fidget and groan… Simply do this every time uncle Charlie tells one of his… So that after awhile everybody tells HIM to stop because that will only get YOU going… Ok, so this one is a little EVIL! The point is find a way to have fun and enjoy the family dynamic, for a change.
  4. Let Go Of Attachment.
    Speaking of change.
    [This one is dedicated to my 88 year old dad and to my 55 year old self who is becoming more and more like him] This holiday season is a wonderful time to practice letting go of any attachment you may have to other people changing.YOU definitely know how to eat right and stay fit and healthy. THEY don’t. Or they do but don’t want to. Or they SAY they do but don’t really want to… whatever the case may be: They also don’t want to have you rub that in their faces. Particularly while they are rubbing holiday desserts into their faces.You love them. You want them to live a long healthy life. Well guess what?People pay me big bucks to help them change their eating and exercise habits and even when they WANT TO it’s a pretty big challenge.Attempting to get people who DON’T want to change to change, particularly over a holiday weekend is like trying to talk the spots off a leopard. It’s hard work. It’s pointless and you might get your head bitten off. So Let go of all that heavy concern about your loved ones. Focus on YOU staying on YOUR program. YOU thinking the kinds of thoughts that radiate compassion and acceptance towards yourself and your relatives. YOU having ONE helping of that awesome Coconut Cream Pie instead of FOUR. [Yeah I ate FOUR pieces of that amazing coconut cream pie. I’ll admit it. It was awesome. But now I’m back to my more moderate senses….]
  5. Take Charge of Your Mental Movie Screen.
    If someone is really up in your face about something, practice shrinking them down and moving them off of your mental movie screen. This also works if you are attempting to get over an “ex” during this holiday season.

So there you have it, 5 Jedi Mind Mastery Hacks to help you get through the holidays, or should that be spelled, Holy Daze?

OH here’s a bonus one…

BONUS! Practice NOT bitching to each other about each other…

…behind each other’s backs. We are all feeding the beast of negative thinking in some shape or form, what the Toltecs called “The Parasite”. Let’s see if we can interrupt that pattern this holiday. What do you absolutely love and adore about your relatives? I’m sure there’s something… Get creative and generous if you have to. :o)

And remember, you can always say “no” next time. Or plan a trip to someplace YOU want to go… And go there by yourself  or with someone who’s company you totally and completely enjoy.

This holiday the biggest take away for all of us is to “Stop Thinking Victim Thoughts”. You’re a Jedi. You’re a Transformation Nation Member in good standing. Think Differently. Love the present moment as it is and your holidays can be FABULOUS.

NOW go get ’em Tiger!

– Mark

p.s. Hey! A Warm Transformation Nation Welcome to Rade from Sweden and Bryan from Iowa! Cowabungah!

p.p.s. On Monday, you may want to check out my course about mastering your mind for a change around food, and fitness.

It’s Not Just About The Food

Other People’s Opinions About YOUR Life

by

36504515_s

Other People’s Opinions About YOUR Life

Have you ever noticed that some people can be totally counted on to “rain on your parade?” Everybody has an opinion about everything. Particularly when it comes to YOU doing something new, brave, or different with your life. It’s one of the most dependable facts of life, kind of like death and taxes, “people” will always find something to “kvetch” about, so expect it, be prepared for it and put it in it’s place…

I just went for a ride on the new bike path in my town. as wonderful as this project is, that turned an old abandoned train track into a walking and biking path, some people have found fault with it.

“Now it’s going to be CROWDED…” some of them have said.

And ultimately its and AWESOME gift to this community. People can ride their bikes without having to “argue” with cars and trucks. Folks can walk and talk and get out in the sunshine. It’s great!

But sure enough someone, somewhere will find something wrong with it.

The point is in your own life, OTHER people will have OPINIONS about YOU. And part of becoming a Master of Your Own Mind is to smile, acknowledge their “helpful” comments… and then TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY IGNORE THEM!

Obey YOUR own COMMANDS. Be FABULOUS. You don’t need anybody else’s permission.

Thoughts? Stories? Contact me baby!

Why Men Lie To Women

by

28604925_sThis is a huge subject and one I think that you might want to consider diving in to.

We are all fvcking liars. Men lie to women all the time. Women lie to men as well but our lying is mostly the result of being afraid of their reactions. So we attempt to control things by sliding over the truth… thinking she won’t notice…

For example, the classic: “no you don’t look fat in those jeans” or “no I’m not attracted to your best friend.” And don’t forget about, “Sure, I want to be monogamous” or “I love going to your folks house.”

Oh but wait!

What about “sure, I’ll take care of your cats whenever you’re away”? or “Sure, I’ll fix your computer.”

Why men really lie

We don’t want to deal with the negative uncomfortable feelings that might come up if we tell our woman what we think she doesn’t want to hear. After all, when a woman is upset she’s unpredictable.

And we HATE unpredictable.

It rattles us and causes us to “tell her what she wants to hear.” Well, I’m here to tell you that is just about the most selfish, cruel and ultimately self destructive thing you can do. It’s also extremely “low status” and one of the secret reasons why women “lose attraction” for their man.

We ought to man up and start telling the truth…

Like instead of “OK let’s be monogamous”, how about, “Hey I really like you and I’m attracted to you and it feels like we are heading somewhere really cool together, and because I deeply respect you I have to be honest, [notice there was no “but”] and tell you that I don’t really feel like I can make that kind of a commitment yet. Not sure I could ever make that.”

You know? Imagine being man enough to actually say whatever is true for you… right then and there.

This last scenario would have saved me 4 years of relationship angst and personal pain, not to mention untended trauma inflicted on my last girlfriend… who wanted “the One”. Who wanted Monogamy and Exclusivity.

We were getting hot and heavy and moved into her bedroom. Naked. Passion flowing and Juices dripping…. and THAT’S when she said, “If we do this it HAS to be monogamous.”

If it hadn’t been soooo long since I’d had sex….

If she wasn’t so Hot….

If I wasn’t so lonely…

I SHOULD have said, “well, I really like you and I’m really hot to have great sex with you, and I don’t feel like I can honestly make that kind of promise to yet.”

I should have been willing to WALK THE FVCK AWAY.  But I didn’t have the balls because I wanted her right then. And so I lied.

I said, “Ok. Let’s be monogamous.” I actually almost believed it when I said it…

BOOM! how many fvcking seconds did that take?

And I was caught by my pubes… AGAIN.

You see, I was raised by a powerful, dominant mother who preached, “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.” And a father who said, “Always keep your promises.”

My mother also talked a ton of shit about how men were abusive and uncaring to women. How we men did horrible things like “see women as sex objects.”

Shit. I didn’t want to be a “bad” man. So I took in her agenda and allowed it to confuse and weaken me…

Why do you lie?

And I am so not alone. I coach guys every day who have been emasculated and pussy whipped to the point of despair. And the weird paradox is, Their women HATE THAT THEY ARE SO EASILY PUSHED AROUND!

We all live in the  culture of the “white lie” where we tell each other harmless little fibs so everybody feels better about themselves and their fat asses and small dicks ( I mean paychecks).

Here’s an example: I have a friend who is cheating on his wife.

I don’t blame him.

I think she’s a narcissistic professional “victim”. But she just went through a “really tough time” so he doesn’t want to tell her their marriage is over because it would get her upset. Then there were the holidays… he didn’t want to upset her over the holidays because that would be cruel… Then there was a lot going on at work…. Then her birthday was coming up and that wouldn’t be right…

He didn’t want to tell her then because it would be too uncaring… and he finally admitted, stressful for him…

And that is the most honest reason he has given…. He doesn’t want to deal with her shit so it is much easier for him to just fvck some other woman while his wife is going through her “tough” time…

So he has just closed down…. “Don’t you love me anymore?” she whines. “Sure dear…” Then he changes the subject. Somehow he thinks he’s fooling her.

REALLY!?

She probably knew months ago but she’s a fvcking liar too… She’s probably waiting to divorce HIS ass until she can get her claws on some more of his money… or until she can afford her own place… or until she has another “sucker” guy lined up to “rescue” her from herself…

Change a few details and this describes most of the shitty relationships in our culture…

Speaking from your true self

We are now several generations of men who were raised by women, taught by women and now often work for women… Women who they have been trained to please and obey. It’s kind of nauseating to me now… the way I worried so fucking much about upsetting “her.” Mostly because if I upset her she would take away the thing I really was hanging out with her to get, SEX.

But ironically tip toeing around her “moods” and putting up with her unacceptable behavior is exactly what keeps her from wanting to have sex with you.

Isn’t it ridiculous that so many of us make our fvcking deals with the fvcking “devil” in the lame hopes of getting sex. But ironically, being pliable pleasers and “yes” men to our women not only turns them off sexually — it pisses them off in ways that they are not even aware of.

Maybe that’s the real source of RAGE that women feel about men.

Even the most “liberated ” woman unconsciously wants a man who is not afraid of her. She wants a man who isn’t threatened by her emotional storms. Who allows her to express herself without having to edit or censer herself in order to “Pwotect his wittle feeewings”.

So in other words, his fear of her anger causes him to lie about his true feelings and desires so he hides his true self… and attempts to manipulate her into having sex…

His truth may be that he just wants to fuck her and then do his own thing. His truth may be that he isn’t really attracted to fat women. She USED to be slender. But now she’s 50 pounds heavier and is jamming food in her mouth so fast it’s obvious it ain’t gonna change very soon.

But if he tells her she IS fat and not just in those jeans, she will get upset and yell and throw things or make things very uncomfortable for him. AND she will damn well NOT be giving any blow jobs in the near future… No backrubs. Not making any dinner either… So instead of leading her with his powerful masculine energy, he abdicates his power to her.

And while she may at first enjoy having things her way, ultimately she will be miserable as well…

The bottom line is that she can’t trust him. And the reality is we tell ourselves that the white lies are to protect the other person’s feelings. The truth is we are really lying to ourselves. We are lying to protect ourselves from having to deal with conflict or unpleasant interactions.

But if he was honest from the beginning. She would have been able to make her own decision about whether she wanted to fvck him anyway…. (news: they often want to fvck you anyway. It’s usually just a test so she can justify fvcking you without feeling like a slut or that she’s too easy.)

And yeah, women lie too.

But if you are ready to step in to your power as a man, you won’t need to lie any more. You will never again have to worry about not getting enough sex. You will never again have to lie to get what you want. You won’t need to.

As an honest man, you speak your truth. And she can either take it or leave it. You will be surprised at how often she chooses to respect you and follow your lead.

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Dealing With Passive Aggressive People

by

Ever have to deal with a passive-aggressive person?

Here are some thoughts about how to handle people who instead of coming right out and speaking their truth, use all kinds of deviously underhanded and indirect power plays in order to get what they want.

Trust me! There will be plenty more strategies and tools for dealing with difficult people in future posts and videos, comments and courses.

Watch the video and if it sparks something meaningful or thought provoking for you, you might want to subscribe and get your “Fresh Cowabungah” each day.

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Anxiety About Conflict and Confrontation

by

29640226_sThe other day I had a meeting with a group of people who I had a business conflict with.

They are good folks.

I’m a good person.

But we were at a place where we couldn’t work out an agreement about a business contract. I did my own due diligence and released any attachment to having the outcome “go my way”. I was prepared to be okay with whatever the outcome was. That was good. But as the hour approached for the meeting I started to feel the old familiar anxiety begin to show up in my body.

I was trembling. I felt like I had just taken speed. My stomach was a little queasy.

So I began to run through some of my Crush Anxiety techniques. You can get all of them right here by clicking the link.

I had the presence of mind to actually make a video of myself using my own techniques.

Here it is:

So even though the meeting did not go my way financially,  the bottom line is: we all have conflict. We all have moments when we would rather run away instead of stand and face up to someone or something that is challenging us.

We also may have to admit we are wrong or that things didn’t work out the way we intended or that a relationship isn’t working or that we can’t do something we promised to do.

Someone may be angry with us. And they may have good reason.

That is where the “tools” of transformation and personal master kick in. IF we have them we can USE them. If we don’t then we often suffer far more than is necessary.

Take away: We all experience pain. Suffering is optional. What we decide something means is the ultimate control we have over our internal experience of any conflict or confrontation.

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…