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Cat Power and Performance Anxiety

August 30, 2011 by Mark Shepard

9478709_sMy daughter Tia was telling me about a popular singer named Cat Power who very publicly struggles with performance anxiety.

It was that very torturous worry, fear, anxiety and panic that forced me at one point to quit performing. It forced me to begin to search for solutions that would enable me to feel totally comfortable on stage (or any where else) so that I could actually enjoy performing my music.

20 years later I am joyfully sharing my music and spoken word programs with people every week, all over the country and of course throughout the web.

What happens to you when you try to perform or speak or do the thing you most want to do in life?

Here’s a description of what Cat Power goes through…

Perhaps the most striking example is Cat Power, the indie rock singer who cancelled an entire U.S. tour earlier this year because of anxiety. She routinely hides her face in her hair, performs covers rather than original songs (for fear no one really wants to hear her work), and sometimes sings with her back turned to the audience, because it’s the only way to keep herself from walking off. “She is so painful to watch, I almost wonder why she even bothers playing live,” wrote a Cat Power fan on a web bulletin board.”

You can read the full article here:

http://www.thememagazine.com/stories/performance-anxiety/

I just know that I could help this woman!

If you know her please have her contact me. I’m serious. I have a huge tool bag of drug free techniques that can help anyone with performance anxiety literally put it behind themselves.

or you may be ready for help in CRUSHING the anxiety that’s been crushing your dreams.

Check out my new, improved and totally video based program “How To Crush Anxiety Without Harmful Drugs or Endless therapy 2.0” —  simply click the link for my How to Stop Anxiety program today!

Ready to clear the fear… for good?

If you suffer from phobias, anxiety, panic attacks, shyness, GAD, social anxiety, approach anxiety, performance anxiety, fear of flying, fear of speaking in public, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), worry, nervousness or any other fear or trauma based challenge, I can help you clear the fear without harmful drugs or endless therapy through…

  1. My Clear the Fear Fast home study course: How to Clear the Fear Fast
  2. My affordable online self help course: How To Stop Anxiety Without Harmful Drugs or Endless Therapy

Whichever one is right for you each of these safe, proven, and effective methods can help you stop anxiety, panic attacks, fears and phobias… for good.

Got questions?

Click the button below and…

Let’s talk

~ Mark Shepard, NLPT, “America’s Stop Anxiety Expert”

Filed Under: Articles, Uncategorized

Stop Anxiety Meet Your Unconscious Mind Part 11

August 11, 2011 by Mark Shepard

One of the many helpful things your unconscious mind does for you is  organize time for you in a time line.

This gives you the ability to think about the past as well as the future. Being able to think about the past enables us to apply helpful lessons or “learnings” in the present. Being able to think about the future enables us to plan and take action to avoid things we don’t want as well as to get outcomes we DO want.

If you struggle with anxiety, part of the challenge is getting stuck in patterns of thought that take traumatic events from the past and project them out into the future. Neither one of them is actually happening but your body doesn’t know that. You unconscious mind doesn’t actually believe in the past or future even though for your convenience it organizes time for you.

Your Unconscious Mind only gets “NOW.”

Watch this short video to Learn more!

Ready to clear the fear… for good?

If you suffer from phobias, anxiety, panic attacks, shyness, GAD, social anxiety, approach anxiety, performance anxiety, fear of flying, fear of speaking in public, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), worry, nervousness or any other fear or trauma based challenge, I can help you clear the fear without harmful drugs or endless therapy through…

  1. My Clear the Fear Fast home study course: How to Clear the Fear Fast
  2. My affordable online self help course: How To Stop Anxiety Without Harmful Drugs or Endless Therapy

Whichever one is right for you each of these safe, proven, and effective methods can help you stop anxiety, panic attacks, fears and phobias… for good.

Got questions?

Click the button below and…

Let’s talk

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Uncategorized

How to Stop Being Stuck in the Friend Zone

July 19, 2010 by Mark Shepard

Beautiful young womanIt happened again, didn’t it?

You feel so attracted and head over heels in love with this gorgeous woman. She even seems to like you…but only as a friend.

What to do?

This is one of the biggest areas of pain and frustration for shy guys. Here’s what we do to shoot ourselves in the foot.

Three things to avoid at all costs!

1. When we’re attracted to a woman we become helpful.

The moment a guy starts helping a woman out, with those wonderful nerdy skills with computers or fixing things or whatever, it causes her to put you in the FRIEND ZONE. If you make yourself valuable to a woman it does not cause her to think romantic thoughts about you, because then if it ends “who will fix my computer?”

2. When we’re attracted to a woman we want to listen and be supportive.

WRONG! Do not become a woman’s therapist. let them pay someone to bitch and moan about all their jerky boyfriends. The moment a woman starts to ask you for advice you must learn how to shut it down and turn the conversation towards the feelings and experiences she wants to have romantically.

Ross Jeffries basically says, “I tell a woman point blank when she asks me for advice, ‘Women don’t f#$k guys who give them advice.’ then I change the subject.”

3. When we’re attracted to a woman we shut down our masculine sexuality or hide our real intentions

We’re afraid of scaring her away or we’re afraid of being too forward, or we’ve bought in to some old cultural programming about what women want or what we think women don’t want.

Face it. Be honest.

YOU WANT MORE THAN JUST TO BE “FRIENDS” don’t you? What would happen if you were just honest?

Here’s a personal story. God this is embarrassing…

I was raised by a feminist mother… All I heard about growing up was how bad it was that men saw women as “pieces of meat”.  Strong alpha male types were basically identified as the cause of every problem for the last 100,000 years. So I shut that part of me down. I didn’t want to be a bad man.I wanted to one of the good guys…

At one point I ended up in a sexless marriage (she had originally picked me up at the college library) and I went to this new age healing class as part of my desperate attempts to figure stuff out. At one point the teacher made me go around the room and admit to every woman in the class (of course i was the only guy) that I found each one of them attractive and wanted to have sex with her. It was hugely freeing. And interestingly none of them tried to claw my eyes out.

The lesson (aside from the fact that New Age healing retreats are great places to meet women) is that

  1. Women like sex.
  2. Women want to be desired by men.
  3. Women are attracted to strong men who will… you get the idea

The other thing is that even if a woman says she doesn’t want anything more than friendship, women change their minds all the time. But you are not going to change her mind by telling her what you think she wants to hear or by being extra nice and patient with her.

You might change her mind by honestly telling her what you want and being okay with her not wanting it and walking away.

Another shy guy/nice guy thing we do is take a woman’s first statement as unalterable fact.

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Transforming ourselves from the classic nerds into the kinds of men who the women we want desire, doesn’t mean we ever have to become remotely like the jerks who seem to get all the women. There is another kind of man who we can become. The kind of man who women fantasize about…

The kind of guy who honestly tells her what he wants (without bullying, begging or buying) and who is willing to walk away if she’s not into him…because he has unlimited options.

Becoming that guy is not an instant fix. But it can happen a lot faster if you actually get some help along the way.

I have years of experience helping people overcome fears, phobias and anxiety. If you can’t even get yourself to talk to a woman, I can help you stop stopping yourself.

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

  • Check out my Shy Guy Help program
  • Review my hypnosis video programs
  • Contact me today

Or just leave a comment below 🙂

Filed Under: Approach Anxiety, Articles, Dating, Overcome Shyness, Relationships, Seduction, Uncategorized

Without Anxiety

August 25, 2009 by Mark Shepard

blindfold…The Human Race Would Have Disappeared Long Ago!

As much pain and suffering that we highly sensitive people go through because of our worry and anxiety these are traits that have saved humanity’s collective butt since time immemorial.

What do I mean?

Well, first of all you have to understand that anxiety is a thought process. It is NOT a mental disease. When you are anxious, you are thinking about what?

What’s great? What’s wonderful? How everything is going to turn out better than you can possibly imagine?

NOPE!

You are imagining the worst case scenario. Anxiety is thinking about what you DON’T want to have happen.
Am I right? Think about it!

So let’s float back in time for a moment to One Gazillion B.C. You are hanging out with your hunter gatherer tribal buddies and it’s summer time…

As the old blues song goes…

“Summer time and the livin’ is easy…”

It’s warm, there’s plenty to eat and it’s party time.

All of a sudden you have a thought about the future…You suddenly think of the coming… WINTER! You imagine digging through snow drifts for whatever you can find….

You imagine starving…

You imagine your children…hungry…cold…sick…

Hmmmm That just feels really, really bad, right?

So you come up with a brilliant idea. In order to avoid starvation in the winter you come up with the concept of drying food, and storing it in underground containers.

Then thinking about the cold, you come up with the idea that you can make warm clothing…

Thus the first root cellar is born and the fur coat is invented.

Not only is necessity the mother of invention, your ability to think ahead and visualize “bad things” happening enables you to plan ahead and take decisive action to create a different outcome…

Planning for the winter results in your family and tribe surviving! Your children and their children pass along this genetic code. The “lug-heads” who don’t have this ability don’t. They perish. Whoa! Pretty amazing huh?

Survival is a great thing isn’t it?

So those who were able to foresee the future and imagine the worst were able to better plan and as a result create a better future.

Now, fast forward to today. I would be willing to bet that if you are anything like me you’ve been using this
wonderful imagination of yours to imagine the worst…

Before every performance of mine as a singer/songwriter I would worry about getting a cold or worry about forgetting my lyrics or a guitar string breaking, or the audience not liking my music…

I could resolve the guitar sting thing by putting on new ones.

I could resolve the fear of going “blank” by having my lyric notebooks on a music stand.

The head cold…and whether people dug my sound or not…Those areas I had to use my Clear The Fear Fast, Modern Jedi Mind Mastery techniques on.

The point of this story is to:

  1. Stop beating yourself up for “having anxiety.” It’s not a defect. It’s not a “sickness.” It’s not a “mental disease.” It’s a survival skill. It’s one of the best things that ever happened to the human race.
    .
  2. Start taking charge of what you think about. In my Seminars and in my “Clear The Fear Home Study System,” I go into this in a lot more detail but for today suffice it to say that the major Anxiety busting technique we use is from Time Line Therapy(tm) and it is simply a reversal of what you’ve been doing all along: Instead of thinking about what you DON’T want to happen, think about what you DO want to happen.

So, imagine floating out to the future to the event about which you thought you were anxious… stay floating up above the event, looking down on the event as an observer…

Now go 15 minutes farther out into the future and turn and look back seeing that event “working out better than you can possibly imagine.”

Now where’s the anxiety? It’s gone isn’t it?.

Time-Line-Clearing-the-Past-Diagram.jpg

The reason this technique works is that your unconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

So if you imagine horrible stuff you body will literally react as if it’s really happening. Imagine really good stuff and your body will relax as if that good stuff is actually happening.

So this week practice this. This is not a one time “fix it.” This is a habit that you have to practice. There are days when I am literally walking around chanting:

“Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”
“Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”

And remember to THINK about what you WANT to have happen. And BTW how about a little appreciation for your “anxious” ancesters. Preparation is a great thing huh?

Anxiety – the ultimate survival tool!

Ready to clear the fear… for good?

If you suffer from phobias, anxiety, panic attacks, shyness, GAD, social anxiety, approach anxiety, performance anxiety, fear of flying, fear of speaking in public, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), worry, nervousness or any other fear or trauma based challenge, I can help you clear the fear without harmful drugs or endless therapy through…

  1. My Clear the Fear Fast home study course: How to Clear the Fear Fast
  2. My affordable online self help course: How To Stop Anxiety Without Harmful Drugs or Endless Therapy

Whichever one is right for you each of these safe, proven, and effective methods can help you stop anxiety, panic attacks, fears and phobias… for good.

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Phobias, Uncategorized Tagged With: Anxiety, anxiety cure, anxiety treatment, CT, fear, GAD, MA, mark shepard, NJ, nlp, NY, PA, panic attack, phobia, social anxiety, worry

Shy Guy Help

June 20, 2009 by Mark Shepard

forshyguy1Finally… help for shy guys!

This website is dedicated to, among other things, helping shy guys like you overcome the crap that has held you back all your life.

You know what I’m talking about:

  • You see a pretty woman and you freeze.
  • You get called on in class and you freeze.
  • Most likely if you’ve ever been out on a date the woman initiated it.
  • Many of you have never even been on a date much less lost your virginity.
  • Or if you’ve dated and met a woman who actually seemed to want you, you took what you could get and got stuck in a relationship that is less than you’d dreamed of…but you stay because you either can’t face being alone or you’re afraid of hurting her…

Been there. Done that. It sucked.

Out of desperation, I learned some extremely powerful tools of transformation that I’ve used to blast through the shyness.  Faster than I ever thought possible. Once I was able to clear the fear and manage my needy awkwardness around women, I needed to learn how to actually communicate with them the way women truly want to be connected with. Honestly. Always now with the confidence that with or without a particular woman in my life I’m fine.

What would it be like to be the chooser?

What would it be like to be the kind of guy that women pine for and fantasize about their whole lives?

First we work on the inner game. We clear the old programs, doubts, false beliefs and habits of thought that keep you miserable.

Then we build step by step a solid foundation of empowered confidence with which to move out into the worlds with superior tools to meet, and seduce the kinds of women you want. Then we fine tune it through the process of real relationship skills.

I’m excited to get started!

It’s something that nobody teaches us guys. We either see the pushy jerks who are always coming on to women and getting nothing but ridicule or scorn (don’t want to be like them). Or, we see the thoughtless bullies who treat women like objects and we don’t want to be like them either.

I can help you get through all the learning curves easily and rapidly so you will be exploring her curves in record time.

I’ve helped shy college guys and shy older guys. I’ve helped men and women of all ages in my NLP practice overcome anxiety, panic attacks, fear, phobias, self sabotage, low self esteem. Because I originally learned NLP, hypnosis and Time Line Therapy™ in order to overcome my own shyness and inability to meet and get to know the kinds of women I truly wanted, I “get” you more than most other coaches or therapists.

There’s lots of information out here on the web for how to date and seduce women. But none of it specifically addresses the shy man in such a way that you can overcome the terror that freezes you and causes you to shrink down and disappear. That’s what this blog is all about.

This is the very first post and a lot more is on the way and you will be too.

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

  • Check out my Shy Guy Help program
  • Review my hypnosis video programs
  • Contact me today

Or just leave a comment below 🙂

Filed Under: Approach Anxiety, Articles, Dating, Overcome Shyness, Relationships, Seduction, Uncategorized

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A few testimonials…

Leaving my fears in the dust…

“It is a journey and Mark has shared a lot of great, drug free techniques that I intend to KEEP practicing as I leave my fears in the dust once and for all.”

Cheryl

Anxiety is GONE!

“Oh my god… when you said ‘now where’s the anxiety?’ it gave me the biggest grin I’ve had in a long time… ‘cuz it was GONE! This is genius! You’re a genius sir!”

Jay

I’ve been applying the techniques…

“Thank you Mark! I’ve been applying the techniques you taught us last week, and DAMN, it seems to be working already (but I’m not positive yet). I also wanted to tell you that I think you’ve got a real winner in your ‘Rain’ song. Ever since I heard it, I can’t get it out of my head! You’re the Best!”

Kate

Already noticing huge progress!

“I have really enjoyed watching all of your videos, and I am already noticing huge progress! I go through all of your recommended self-hypnosis on a daily basis and notice improvement each day.”

Chris

Already feel better!

“Hey, finished watching the Mojo course last night, great stuff. I already feel better!”

Todd

Excellent customer service

“Excellent customer service. Thanks a lot!!!!!!”

Luis C.

Panic attacks gone for good…

“When I woke up this morning I was thinking about my panic attacks. I could not remember that last time I had one! I used the techniques in your CRUSH Anxiety Program. Thank you so much for all your help.”

Robin

Haven’t felt this good for a long time…

“I haven’t felt this good for a long time and it’s a great feeling. I just wanted to say thank you so much and I really appreciate all your help.”

Kent

Used your courses to great effect…

“I’ve used your Shy Guy Help and ED courses to great effect, thank you!”

Ian

One day I just stopped wanting all the sweets…

“It wasn’t an ‘instant’ fix. It took a little while but one day I just stopped wanting all the sweets that I used to crave. Now I’m drinking more water and loving my body more.”

Kay F.

A miracle!

“Mark’s intensive phobia-releasing session CURED me. The ‘trigger’ no longer causes me to shake and tremble. That’s a miracle! The healing affected more than just me.”

A. Hart

I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques…

“Hi Mark, I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques and positive ‘why’ questions. I also bought your song ‘Arise Arise’ as it seems to really help when nervous.”

Jason

You are a ROCKSTAR!

“Thank you for your work, Mark! You are a ROCKSTAR! The best kind. Full of love and life!”

Leslie M. Thornton

I can’t thank you enough!

“I want to thank you for EVERYTHING you did for me! Ran the 48.6 miles last weekend. That is huge as when I first saw you I couldn’t even run outdoors without anxiety. I can’t thank you enough!”

John B.

The program is so powerful and energetic…

“Mark provided a lot of information and tools to help me in weight loss and in all areas of my life. The program is so powerful and energetic. The camaraderie you encourage is extremely beneficial.”

Ann B.

Makes it easy to understand…

“Oh man Mark. This is what I needed today. You explain things so well that makes it easy to understand. You my friend are awesome at what you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Linda

Thank you so much for all of your help!

“Dear Mr. Shepard, I killed it with my speech yesterday, so thank you so much for all of your help! And thank you for adding me into the Bully Proof Teen group. I’ve been bullied myself as well so this is a good place for me to learn more. I will definitely take advantage of it. Don’t ever stop doing what you are doing!”

Hasen Khiar

Honest and compassionate…

“I loved all the ‘transformation tools.’ I use them every day. I feel positive – self love. Mark worked hard and really cares about us. …very giving – honest and compassionate – thank you!”

Susan C.

Very helpful…

“The information you are providing in the “CRUSH anxiety NOW!” course is very helpful. Thanks, Mark! BTW, I love your music, too. :-)”

Beth P.

Experienced a total transformation…

“I went online and logged in to your course How To Get Over A Breakup and experienced a total transformation.”

Paula

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