Honest Hypnosis

Master Your Mind... for a Change

Rejection

The Better Man Project 001 Intro & Shy Guy Help

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In This Video: I Introduce my new 90 day challenge, “The Better Man Project” Which is essentially, “How To be the kind of man that the women you want Desire.”

Or to put it another way, This is about how to become authentically masculine around high quality women. Whether you’re in school or starting out from scratch after a divorce 18-100 there’s SERIOUS HOPE FOR YOU!
Also in this episode I coach a young man named Jon who is struggling to simply say “hi” to a girl at his school that he is interested in. CHECK IT OUT!

Stuck on one girl who doesn’t know you exist? Forget HER.
Take Away: Start practicing say “hi” to EVERYONE.

Stop Dreading the Friend Zone

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Many dating coaches teach you how to avoid being put in the friend zone. But in this video I give you a powerful tip that you can use to change the friend zone from being bad, to being good.

Watch the short video below to discover how to create a powerful win-win that will lead you to meeting more women, easier, faster, better….

Have questions, need help?

If now is the time to take action click the button below…

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…

Let’s talk

How To Stop Crush Anxiety

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potrait of a sad guy in a yellow sweat shirtI got an email from one of my readers the other day and it poses some significant opportunities for all of us to stop being the victims of our emotional storms related to members of the opposite sex.

Most of us have had someone who we “fancy,” are enamored of, or who we have a “crush” on.

So this article should really be called, “How to CRUSH ‘Crush Anxiety.'”  But Let’s get to work, shall we?

“I am very anxious when i think of, talk to or wait for a message from my crush. I even get sick from the stress..i am a middle school student.I can’t fight it..what should i do?? Thanks”  – J

Interestingly enough, when I named my first anxiety program I was looking for a powerful positive verb to use in order to stop anxiety. Without realizing that there are folks who use the word “Crush Anxiety” to describe what happens when you get freaked out about a person you have a crush on, I went ahead and called it Crush Anxiety Now.

In order to Stop being crushed by Crush Anxiety, there are 3 areas to focus on (there are probably more but this is a freaking blog post not War and Peace).

First of all…

1. Why are you making this experience mean to you?

If you think of the person you have a crush on and imagine them not caring about you, or not knowing you exist or rejecting you, that will create all of those responses in your neurology as if they are real. Your unconscious mind, which is the source of all your emotions, does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

One of the key things I’ve learned from dating guru Ross Jeffries is there is a subtle mental shift that has to happen if we guys want to be successful with women. Even long term relationship stuff. We have to develop the attitude that: “Any woman I choose to be interested in or spend time with is lucky to be with me.”

It’s not an arrogance thing, it’s a self esteem thing.

What I see happening over and over again with shy guys is that they do this “I’m not worthy” thing in their minds. so of course the women they really want are on a level above them.

This is the first step in personal mastery in EVERY area of your life and my young friend who wrote me about this is in a great place in his life to learn this now. The younger you learn this the better.

The flip side of this equation is again from Ross Jeffries: “Any woman (or girl) who isn’t interested in me is just demonstrating her lack of good taste!”

Again it sounds a bit arrogant but if you take a moment and try this on for size it is a phenomenal tool for success in every area of life. “hey if i express interest in a woman and she’s not into me, that’s just proof that she doesn’t have what it takes to appreciate quality.” it works for those job interviews where you don’t get hired. If you tell yourself “That’s it! No one will ever hire me. They REJECTED me.” you are going to feel very bad.

But if you tell yourself, “Hey they just didn’t appreciate all the qualities I have to bring to the job. Too bad for them. Their loss!” You will have the energy to get back out there and find someone who DOES appreciate your abilities.

It’s the same with those we want to be with romantically. And BTW this goes for all you ladies who write to me as well.

This is a non-gender specific thing.

The second thing is…

2. Are you making this person the only possible partner for you?

In order to do that you have to literally erase the cold hard fact that there are billions and billions of people in this world; half of whom are of the opposite sex. That’s a lot of other possibilities you’re blocking from your awareness.

To my friend “J”, I want to say, “Dude you are only in middle school! Do you seriously think that she’s the only girl you’ll ever be attracted to?”

My suggestion here is to imagine floating out into your future and turning and looking back from your 20’s and see how young and innocent you are right now. Float further out into your future and look back from your thirties and see how many women you’ve had to be with in order to learn about this mysterious race of beings called “women”.

Now go out into your 90’s and look back with fondness for when this seemed so important to you. Trust me, in your 90’s you’ll just be happy to have a decent bowel movement. I mean this with gentleness and sincerity. You’ve got to take charge of your own mind and put this stuff into perspective. I do a lot of this kind of Time Line work in my coaching sessions.

It can really help to get a different view.

At some point…

3. You have to learn how to get over attachment or “fixation” on other people.

Life is full of disappointment.

The only cause of suffering is our attachment. People and things come and go. Nothing is permanent.  All the spiritual masters of the world have made this point. Learn to let go when you’re young. You might as well start today.

A good question to ask yourself is, “How am I causing my own suffering in this situation?”

The next question should be, “How can I learn from this and let it go?”

You actually don’t even have to answer the questions. Just ask them and your unconscious mind will do the rest.

You might also ask yourself, “How many other wonderful girls/women have I not been aware of because of my fixation on this one female?” Make a list of all the other interesting, attractive women you can think of in your social circles. Then ask yourself, “how many amazing women have I not even met yet?” Again just consider those questions seriously. It will change your perspective big time.

4. What was it like before you ever met this person?

Seriously.

Imagine the day before you met this girl/woman. Were you devastated because you didn’t know she existed?

No! You weren’t thinking about her because you hadn’t met her yet. Go back there in your mind and see what you saw, feel what you felt and talk to yourself the way you did the day before this chick entered your world. You were fine weren’t you?

The bottom line is that it takes as much energy to make ourselves miserable as it does to make our lives magical. And we are the ones making ourselves feel whatever it is we are feeling, both positive and negative. That knowledge gives you tremendous power. Whatever you have created in your life, you can create more of the same or something better.

Now. All that being said, which guy do you think the most desirable women in the world want to be with?

  1. The guy who is all twisted up in his guts and worried about what she thinks of him or what she does or doesn’t do…, or
  2. The guy that is at ease with himself and confident that if a woman he is interested in doesn’t “get” what he has to offer, someone else even hotter will.

Subtle Hint: The answer is #2!

That’s all the time I have left to talk about this today but hopefully that’s enough to get you thinking.

There are a couple of programs that you might find helpful, so here are the links to them:

How to Crush Anxiety for Good

or

How to Get Over a Girl

Becoming a more confident guy is not an instant fix. But it can happen a lot faster if you actually get some help along the way.

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

I have years of experience helping people overcome fears, phobias and anxiety. If you can’t even get yourself to talk to a woman, I can help you stop stopping yourself.

Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…

Let’s talk

Think You Have Girl Attraction Problems?

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I got an email from one of my readers recently who revealed that he had some physical challenges when it comes to being attractive to women.

A few minutes later when I was checking the views on Youtube on my song, “Together We Can Change The World” I noticed a video by this guy Nick Vujicic. If this guy can get out there and be a force for positive love in the world you can too.

I mean that with deep love and respect for you and the struggle you’ve been going through trying to overcome shyness and approach anxiety in order to meet women.

Let me know what you think below the video….

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.

Too Shy To Talk To Women

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12006252_sHey guys,

Stephen from Australia wrote to me the other day about his frustration approaching women because he is extremely shy and has a speech disability. One of my suggestions was that he have a poem handy on a card and just hand it to her or write a short note on the spot saying “Hi!”

Check out the previous post: Extremely Shy Around Women

I’ve posted his response, and then my response to his response.

I want you guys to read this and pay attention because it’s not just about Stephen it’s about all of you.

BTW, thank you Stephen for being willing to share your struggle. Please remember all of you that you are not alone. There are millions of you out there suffering. So let’s take some action to get past this phase in your lives okay?

Stephen writes…

Hello Mark, thank you for your advice.

Unfortunately I’m not very good at poetry although I find it easier to express myself when I write because I have more time to think about what I want to say. I’m not really sure how a woman would react if I handed her a piece of paper with poetry or anything else I’ve written on it. She may be turned off by the idea and find it a bit strange. Once I get to know someone I will open up a bit more when I feel comfortable around them. It’s the initialization of getting to know that person that is the difficult part for me. Because of my speech disorder I’m afraid of being rejected as well. The woman might find it more of a burden because I can’t communicate with her properly.

Thanks for your time.

Stephen

Here’s my response…

But you see Stephen that everything you’ve said is something you are projecting. “She may be turned off by the idea and find it a bit strange”

You are not sure of how a woman will react if you hand her a piece of paper with a note or a poem. So? Do it and see what happens. That’s the mind set you need to work on more than anything else. Instead of stopping yourself with “what ifs”,  test it out to see.

And so what if she does think it strange?  Do it and see what happens. The note could be as simple as,

“Hi I’m kind of shy but I wanted to say hello”

This is the piece you share with a gazillion other guys. Aren’t we all so bored with ourselves? We’re so concerned about what she thinks. And that’s why guys who don’t care about women get all the hotties. Because they are not all hung up on what she thinks. They go for what they want in their lives and if she’s cool with it she’ll come along. If not then that’s okay too.  For us “sensitive guys” who were trained by our overprotective mommies to always be nice, it’s so counter intuitive.

Well. You don’t have any control over what she thinks at first. You don’t know what kind of baggage she has. I do know that women WANT MEN TO TAKE THE LEAD. They don’t want to be dominated or bullied or bossed around but they want you to step up and initiate.

She MAY think you’re an asshole but as Ross Jeffries says over and over again, “you need to allow her to have whatever first reaction she has.” Talk to any couple about how they met and a good number of the women say, “I thought he was an asshole at first, but then when I got to know him I found out he was wonderful”

That’s what women do.

They change what they think all the time and then justify it…

But by not being willing to take a risk, you are also taking away the possibility that she may think it’s charming and interesting.

It’s about HER

Let me share a little something with you.

About a year and a half ago I wrote a bunch of little notes and hid them all over the house for my girlfriend to find. You know, in her jewelry box, in her underwear drawer, in the medicine cabinet…a year and a half she still has all those notes in exactly the places I hid them….

What the?

I toss notes out. Women don’t.

Get it through your head that women are different than we are. Stop thinking that she thinks like you do. Start getting bold and wildly experimental.

Every interaction is just a learning opportunity.

And here’s the hard news Stephen and all you other shy guys out there. Please forgive my bluntness but someone has to say it (and believe me I had to realize this for myself too): Ultimately shyness is a form of narcissism. You are so self absorbed that all you worry about is what other people will think about you.

But it’s not about YOU.

It’s about HER. And women are just as narcissistic. They’re all worrying about what YOU are thinking about them. We humans are such bizarre ridiculous creatures! Really we are.

So Stephen and all you other guys reading this. Here is your assignment for this week.

  1. Go out of your house with a pad of “post it notes” or 3/5 cards.
  2. Find a woman who is attractive to you.
  3. Write “hi!” on a note, smile,  hand it to her and walk away. Observe and make a note of what happens.
  4. Repeat at least 5 times.
  5. Write to me and report.

I dare you.

I double dare you….

No! I DOUBLE DAWG DARE YOU!

Your friend, Mark

p.s. I just found a great place to meet hundreds of women easily… stay tuned…for the next article/post.

p.p.s Hey Shy Guys! Need help? If you are serious about blasting through this crap that’s been holding you back, consider a one on one session. I do phone sessions with guys all over the world. Maybe you just need a coach. If the main issue is anxiety then you might want to check out Crush anxiety Now.

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

On a more serious note, If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.

How to Not Care What a Woman Thinks

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14996100_mI get a lot of mail from shy guys who struggle with the rejection monster.

If a woman doesn’t think they are attractive or doesn’t think positive thoughts about them, these guys feel it.

It hurts. It hits them hard.

How do you deal with rejection when approaching a woman? How to deal with the fear of rejection that keeps you from approaching a woman in the first place.

In response to an e-mail I got from Nick today, who specifically asked: “How can I not care what a woman thinks about me?” I wanted to share a few thoughts about dealing with rejection and anticipated rejection.

Dealing with rejection

First of all how do you know what a woman is actually thinking?

You don’t.

Chances are you are doing what we call in NLP a “Mind Read.” The truth is that she is probably not thinking about you at all. That’s actually worse than her thinking you are a jerk because if she is thinking you’re a jerk then at least she is thinking about you and not something or someone else.

Solution?

Imagine her wanting you to introduce yourself.

Imagine her feeling lonely and horny and dreaming of the kind of guy who can truly and deeply connect and touch her the way she has always longed to be touched physically, spiritually, emotionally.

Secondly, in your own mind make yourself huge and tall like the Jolly green Giant…

Using this simple technique make her small and tiny way down below you. Or make yourself into the older wiser adult and her into a young naive girl who doesn’t have a clue.

Notice how that changes the dynamic.

Third, when approaching a woman or group of women, have some questions in mind

The key about the questions you ask is to get them to focus on the realm of dreams, indulgence, fantasy…get out of your own mind. By asking the right question you’ll get their attention tuned in on something fun and interesting that would anchor and trigger positive and even romantic experiences.

Here’s an example…

“Excuse me, can I ask you a question? If you could choose between an all expenses paid trip to Ireland or a trip to a tropical island which would you choose?” Whatever she answers ask “why?”

Your job is not to “grill” her but to get her to move from her everyday mind to the realm of fantasy and daydream where you can both have fun and play.

If it’s a group of women say, “Hey ladies, can I get a female opinion (or woman’s opinion) on something? A friend of mine is trying to decide whether to take his fiance to Ireland or to a tropical island in the Caribbean which is more romantic? What do you think?”

Questions that involve sensual feelings and positive emotions are excellent as well. Whatever they respond with it’s up to you to play with it and expand it. Get them to really see themselves there in their imaginations.

They will link that pleasure to you

If they are experiencing pleasure around you what’s to be afraid of? If she or they can’t go there it’s good information to know because then you don’t want to hang out with her/them.

If you are focused on something other than women thinking badly of you then that will take care of a lot of the problem.

Hope that helps!

Feel free to use the form below to submit any questions you might have. I promise to do my best to answer them as soon as I can.

Check out this out:

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

On a more serious note, If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.