• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Honest Hypnosis

Master Your Mind... for a Change

  • Home
  • About
    • About Mark Shepard
    • Private Coaching
  • Programs
    • Guided Hypnosis Self-Help Courses
    • Sound Healing Hypnosis
    • Member’s Dashboard
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Member’s Only
    • Member Dashboard
    • Member Login

How To Stop Crush Anxiety

April 24, 2012 by Mark Shepard

How To Stop Crush Anxiety

potrait of a sad guy in a yellow sweat shirtI got an email from one of my readers the other day and it poses some significant opportunities for all of us to stop being the victims of our emotional storms related to members of the opposite sex.

Most of us have had someone who we “fancy,” are enamored of, or who we have a “crush” on.

So this article should really be called, “How to CRUSH ‘Crush Anxiety.'”  But Let’s get to work, shall we?

“I am very anxious when i think of, talk to or wait for a message from my crush. I even get sick from the stress..i am a middle school student.I can’t fight it..what should i do?? Thanks”  – J

Interestingly enough, when I named my first anxiety program I was looking for a powerful positive verb to use in order to stop anxiety. Without realizing that there are folks who use the word “Crush Anxiety” to describe what happens when you get freaked out about a person you have a crush on, I went ahead and called it Crush Anxiety Now.

In order to Stop being crushed by Crush Anxiety, there are 3 areas to focus on (there are probably more but this is a freaking blog post not War and Peace).

First of all…

1. Why are you making this experience mean to you?

If you think of the person you have a crush on and imagine them not caring about you, or not knowing you exist or rejecting you, that will create all of those responses in your neurology as if they are real. Your unconscious mind, which is the source of all your emotions, does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

One of the key things I’ve learned from dating guru Ross Jeffries is there is a subtle mental shift that has to happen if we guys want to be successful with women. Even long term relationship stuff. We have to develop the attitude that: “Any woman I choose to be interested in or spend time with is lucky to be with me.”

It’s not an arrogance thing, it’s a self esteem thing.

What I see happening over and over again with shy guys is that they do this “I’m not worthy” thing in their minds. so of course the women they really want are on a level above them.

This is the first step in personal mastery in EVERY area of your life and my young friend who wrote me about this is in a great place in his life to learn this now. The younger you learn this the better.

The flip side of this equation is again from Ross Jeffries: “Any woman (or girl) who isn’t interested in me is just demonstrating her lack of good taste!”

Again it sounds a bit arrogant but if you take a moment and try this on for size it is a phenomenal tool for success in every area of life. “hey if i express interest in a woman and she’s not into me, that’s just proof that she doesn’t have what it takes to appreciate quality.” it works for those job interviews where you don’t get hired. If you tell yourself “That’s it! No one will ever hire me. They REJECTED me.” you are going to feel very bad.

But if you tell yourself, “Hey they just didn’t appreciate all the qualities I have to bring to the job. Too bad for them. Their loss!” You will have the energy to get back out there and find someone who DOES appreciate your abilities.

It’s the same with those we want to be with romantically. And BTW this goes for all you ladies who write to me as well.

This is a non-gender specific thing.

The second thing is…

2. Are you making this person the only possible partner for you?

In order to do that you have to literally erase the cold hard fact that there are billions and billions of people in this world; half of whom are of the opposite sex. That’s a lot of other possibilities you’re blocking from your awareness.

To my friend “J”, I want to say, “Dude you are only in middle school! Do you seriously think that she’s the only girl you’ll ever be attracted to?”

My suggestion here is to imagine floating out into your future and turning and looking back from your 20’s and see how young and innocent you are right now. Float further out into your future and look back from your thirties and see how many women you’ve had to be with in order to learn about this mysterious race of beings called “women”.

Now go out into your 90’s and look back with fondness for when this seemed so important to you. Trust me, in your 90’s you’ll just be happy to have a decent bowel movement. I mean this with gentleness and sincerity. You’ve got to take charge of your own mind and put this stuff into perspective. I do a lot of this kind of Time Line work in my coaching sessions.

It can really help to get a different view.

At some point…

3. You have to learn how to get over attachment or “fixation” on other people.

Life is full of disappointment.

The only cause of suffering is our attachment. People and things come and go. Nothing is permanent.  All the spiritual masters of the world have made this point. Learn to let go when you’re young. You might as well start today.

A good question to ask yourself is, “How am I causing my own suffering in this situation?”

The next question should be, “How can I learn from this and let it go?”

You actually don’t even have to answer the questions. Just ask them and your unconscious mind will do the rest.

You might also ask yourself, “How many other wonderful girls/women have I not been aware of because of my fixation on this one female?” Make a list of all the other interesting, attractive women you can think of in your social circles. Then ask yourself, “how many amazing women have I not even met yet?” Again just consider those questions seriously. It will change your perspective big time.

4. What was it like before you ever met this person?

Seriously.

Imagine the day before you met this girl/woman. Were you devastated because you didn’t know she existed?

No! You weren’t thinking about her because you hadn’t met her yet. Go back there in your mind and see what you saw, feel what you felt and talk to yourself the way you did the day before this chick entered your world. You were fine weren’t you?

The bottom line is that it takes as much energy to make ourselves miserable as it does to make our lives magical. And we are the ones making ourselves feel whatever it is we are feeling, both positive and negative. That knowledge gives you tremendous power. Whatever you have created in your life, you can create more of the same or something better.

Now. All that being said, which guy do you think the most desirable women in the world want to be with?

  1. The guy who is all twisted up in his guts and worried about what she thinks of him or what she does or doesn’t do…, or
  2. The guy that is at ease with himself and confident that if a woman he is interested in doesn’t “get” what he has to offer, someone else even hotter will.

Subtle Hint: The answer is #2!

That’s all the time I have left to talk about this today but hopefully that’s enough to get you thinking.

There are a couple of programs that you might find helpful, so here are the links to them:

How to Crush Anxiety for Good

or

How to Get Over a Girl

Becoming a more confident guy is not an instant fix. But it can happen a lot faster if you actually get some help along the way.

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

I have years of experience helping people overcome fears, phobias and anxiety. If you can’t even get yourself to talk to a woman, I can help you stop stopping yourself.

Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…

Let’s talk

Facebook Comments

Filed Under: Approach Anxiety, Crush anxiety, Rejection

Before Footer

A few testimonials…

Excellent customer service

“Excellent customer service. Thanks a lot!!!!!!”

Luis C.

I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques…

“Hi Mark, I’ve been regularly using your breathing techniques and positive ‘why’ questions. I also bought your song ‘Arise Arise’ as it seems to really help when nervous.”

Jason

Thank you so much for all of your help!

“Dear Mr. Shepard, I killed it with my speech yesterday, so thank you so much for all of your help! And thank you for adding me into the Bully Proof Teen group. I’ve been bullied myself as well so this is a good place for me to learn more. I will definitely take advantage of it. Don’t ever stop doing what you are doing!”

Hasen Khiar

I can’t thank you enough!

“I want to thank you for EVERYTHING you did for me! Ran the 48.6 miles last weekend. That is huge as when I first saw you I couldn’t even run outdoors without anxiety. I can’t thank you enough!”

John B.

Panic attacks gone for good…

“When I woke up this morning I was thinking about my panic attacks. I could not remember that last time I had one! I used the techniques in your CRUSH Anxiety Program. Thank you so much for all your help.”

Robin

Already feel better!

“Hey, finished watching the Mojo course last night, great stuff. I already feel better!”

Todd

Already noticing huge progress!

“I have really enjoyed watching all of your videos, and I am already noticing huge progress! I go through all of your recommended self-hypnosis on a daily basis and notice improvement each day.”

Chris

A miracle!

“Mark’s intensive phobia-releasing session CURED me. The ‘trigger’ no longer causes me to shake and tremble. That’s a miracle! The healing affected more than just me.”

A. Hart

Experienced a total transformation…

“I went online and logged in to your course How To Get Over A Breakup and experienced a total transformation.”

Paula

Very helpful…

“The information you are providing in the “CRUSH anxiety NOW!” course is very helpful. Thanks, Mark! BTW, I love your music, too. :-)”

Beth P.

The program is so powerful and energetic…

“Mark provided a lot of information and tools to help me in weight loss and in all areas of my life. The program is so powerful and energetic. The camaraderie you encourage is extremely beneficial.”

Ann B.

Anxiety is GONE!

“Oh my god… when you said ‘now where’s the anxiety?’ it gave me the biggest grin I’ve had in a long time… ‘cuz it was GONE! This is genius! You’re a genius sir!”

Jay

Honest and compassionate…

“I loved all the ‘transformation tools.’ I use them every day. I feel positive – self love. Mark worked hard and really cares about us. …very giving – honest and compassionate – thank you!”

Susan C.

Used your courses to great effect…

“I’ve used your Shy Guy Help and ED courses to great effect, thank you!”

Ian

Leaving my fears in the dust…

“It is a journey and Mark has shared a lot of great, drug free techniques that I intend to KEEP practicing as I leave my fears in the dust once and for all.”

Cheryl

You are a ROCKSTAR!

“Thank you for your work, Mark! You are a ROCKSTAR! The best kind. Full of love and life!”

Leslie M. Thornton

Makes it easy to understand…

“Oh man Mark. This is what I needed today. You explain things so well that makes it easy to understand. You my friend are awesome at what you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Linda

One day I just stopped wanting all the sweets…

“It wasn’t an ‘instant’ fix. It took a little while but one day I just stopped wanting all the sweets that I used to crave. Now I’m drinking more water and loving my body more.”

Kay F.

I’ve been applying the techniques…

“Thank you Mark! I’ve been applying the techniques you taught us last week, and DAMN, it seems to be working already (but I’m not positive yet). I also wanted to tell you that I think you’ve got a real winner in your ‘Rain’ song. Ever since I heard it, I can’t get it out of my head! You’re the Best!”

Kate

Haven’t felt this good for a long time…

“I haven’t felt this good for a long time and it’s a great feeling. I just wanted to say thank you so much and I really appreciate all your help.”

Kent

Footer

Contact, Like or Follow

  • youtube
  • mail
  • twitter
  • facebook

ACTUAL. HELPFUL. STUFF.

"Mark, WOW! What an e-mail from you, jammed pack full of good stuff to meditate on."
~ Linda from MN



Site Map

  • Contact Mark Shepard
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use

Copyright © 2023 · Honest Hypnosis
Powered by Success Marketing · Log in