Honest Hypnosis

Master Your Mind... for a Change

Keys To Cowabungah

Pure Dream

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36908219_sI was doing some deep thinking yesterday about the missing pieces of the puzzle.

We all have strengths and weaknesses that like a good video game avatar, give us advantages in some situations and handicap us in others.

The statement that triggered this thought process I’m about to share with you was this:

“What was your big dream when you were 16?”

According to this guy, the dream you had at 16 was most likely the “purest” dream because at 16 we are still fresh.

Naive in a good way. Clear. Looking at the world with Beginner’s Mind. We don’t know all the reasons why it might never work… We don’t worry so much about all the little details that have to happen… we just see this possible future waiting out there for us… Inviting. Beckoning. Welcoming.

I don’t know what your dream was, but my dream was to be a full time, professional singer songwriter. Still is. 40 years later.

I had this vision of being as famous enough to fill concert halls the size of Carnegie Hall, Troy Music Hall, in the same way that Cat Stevens, Pete Seeger, Joni Mitchell, Jackson Brown, James Taylor, Bruce Cockburn, Anni DeFranco… could fill those seats…

My dream was based upon the simple fact that when I sang my original songs, people were amazed. I had never done anything before that anyone was impressed with. I was never good at sports. I was never a straight “A” student. I was the quiet kid that faded into the background most of the time…

But when I’d play a song, people would suddenly treat me with respect and admiration. THAT had never happened before either…

And I liked it.

The encouragement I got fed my dream like good, dry hardwood on a fire… Was that my ego being fed? Or was it my Soul showing up and affirming that pure dream?

Regardless, I got good really fast because I was so filled with passion for writing songs… I wrote and practiced COMPULSIVELY and OBSESSIVELY. And fame and fortune seemed so possible. So within my reach. It was logical even. “I am really, really good at this. So of course, I will be able to make this my life and my livlihood…”

But…

  • I didn’t really know how to perform very well. I got tight and nervous before audiences.
  • I didn’t know how to get gigs. I was terrified of rejection.
  • I didn’t know how to get people to come to the gigs. I was afraid people would think I was conceited if I invited them to come hear me play…
  • I didn’t know how to get professional help to get my music to the right audience. I thought I had to get a “Manager” or a “record deal” but I had no clue how to do those things…
  • I didn’t know how to deal with people who didn’t care for my music. I took everything personally and anyone’s lack of interest would literally deflate me, pop my balloon and I would feel horrible for a long time…
  • I didn’t know how to deal with disappointment or setbacks or “rejection”.  Any little set back just destroyed me.
  • I didn’t know how to handle people who were critical. What if they were right and I was fooling myself? What if I wasn’t good enough?

And every time I set out to overcome my resistance and put in the time and energy to go to open mic nights or hang out with other musicians, it just became clearer and clearer that becoming a well known singer/songwriter was almost impossible.

For me.

So I focused on how impossible it was…

and years went by…

I kept writing song, after song, after song…

So what? No one cared. Why should they?

The world is doing just fine without my music. What’s the point?

Indeed what is the point in any of us pursuing our passions?

Do you want to know the answer?

The point is that doing what we most love, changes the energy of the world. Even in some small way with my songs beaming out into the universe… it makes a difference… You doing what you love even  in some small way changes the world. Maybe it only changes YOUR world. But that is enough of a reason to do what we love. When we do what we love we are a hell of a lot more fun to be around! So when you change your world, you can not help but change the world of the people around you…

Whether I can actually support myself doing this thing that I love, that I am so freaking good at, is an entirely different question.

Over the years the pain of not being able to do this thing that I love, hurt so much that I started working on myself. Learning how to run my mind in a way that would support me in getting to where I wanted to go…

One of the things I learned how to do was to ask powerful how and why questions in order to “program” my unsoncisous mind to support and validate the presuppositions in the questions…

So I keep asking, better and better questions. Here’s a few that I asked just this morning:

  • How can I get this music out into the world in a way that is congruent and ecological for me and for people who appreciate this kind of music?

  • How can I find a way to touch the lives of hundreds, and thousands and even millions of people in a positive way with my music and words?

  • How can I authentically share my talents with audiences of people who appreciate what I do, what my music does for them?

  • Why am I led perfectly to the path of least resistance and most impact?

  • Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?

  • Why do I continuously and congruently hold in my mind  the vision of reaching real people with my creative work?

  • Why do I continuously and congruently hold the idea in my mind of people savoring my songs, using my songs to stay balanced and happy, on track?

  • Why do I continuously and congruently hold in my mind the idea of my music being valuable to people? Appreciated by people? Shared by a growing audience… Why do I imagine my audience steadily and continuously growing for the remaining time I have here on this planet.

  • Why am I easily able to support myself doing music in ways that I deeply and completely enjoy?

  • Why to I attract the right people into my life in the right way at the right time so that my music can beam outward like the light of a lighthouse on a dark night?

  • Why am I able to authentically be me. Everyday. In every way that is possible?

  • Why Does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?

“So enough about me!”, said the songwriter. “What do YOU think of my music?” LOL

What about you?

What did you want to be or do or have when YOU were 16? And when did you allow that dream to slip away?

What if that dream was your perfect mission map for all that you had to learn in order to truly live a MASSIVELY EMPOWERED LIFE?

At age 16 I did not have all the support tools  in place to successfully navigate the Music Business. I’m not sure I have all the tools I need yet, but I have all the tools I need to manage “me”, right now. I understand now about victim thinking and how fear, and lack and doubt are toxic to success in any endeavor.

If you want to learn, I can teach you how to change your mind so that you can begin to get more and more of what you desire in your life with less time and effort than it took me…

Today, I make part of my living/income as a professional singer/songwriter. I make $300-$1,000 per performance at libraries and schools all over the Northeast. I make $200 a week at my Unity Church gig.

I am not famous. But I AM still writing songs. I recently wrote song #500.

I am also in the recording studio as much as possible recording to preserve the hundreds of songs that if I die will be “un-sung”

Have you heard the phrase, “Don’t die with your music in you?” What if we re-stated that in a more effective way?

Why do you do today what you most need to do so that you’re dream becomes your reality?

I HAVE found ways to perform and places to perform where my work is appreciated. By holding my dream in the forefront of my mind and ceaselessly following my gut… I have been led to this present moment…

I want to make a positive difference in the world withy words and music. What do YOU want?

Whatever we want to accomplish “OUT THERE”… we first have to accomplish “IN HERE”.

In our minds.

I don’t know about you but my temptation is often to just give up because it is so seemingly impossible. But look around. The world is full of things that we take for granted every day that once were impossible.

  • We fly through the air in comfort and safety.
  • We can talk to anyone we want anywhere in the world and actually see them at the same time via our computer’s and cell phones.
  • We can hop in our cars and drive pretty much any where we want at any time on well designed roads with increasing amounts of safety and conveniences…
  • We have more choices and opportunities available than at any time in the history of the world…

And the question of the week is:

What if the challenges (aka “learning opportunities) you are facing right now are exactly, perfectly the right challenges for you to grow in exactly the way you need to grow so that you can fulfill the destiny you imagined for yourself when you were 16?

Questions? Thoughts? Comments?

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

About that problem

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38817913_sKeys To Cowabungah: Problem Solving

Problems are a part of life.

Get good at solving them.

Get a life. Get the girl.

Ok. So you have a problem. Since this is a site all about personal mastery for men, and because one of our great “problems” as men is to be able to remove the obstacles (as well as clothing) that separates us from the women we desire,

Let’s explore a little bit about what a “problem” is and what to do about it.

Chances are there is some thing you do or don’t do that if you did or didn’t do it your life would be better.

Am I right?

Chances are there is some other person or people who seem to be the cause of problems too.

We will get to “dealing with difficult people” at some point, but today, let’s first talk about what this thing called a “problem” is. So we can make some progress with all levels of “problem” in your life.

So what’s a “problem”?

A “Problem” is:

The obstacle to your well being and happiness that you are currently concerned with or working on.

For you it could be “How to strike up a natural conversation with a group of bikini clad models so that one or more of them want to go home with you and have great sex…”

For mathmaticians, getting a nice big juicy “problem” is NOT a problem. It’s what they live for as math geeks.

For a gardener, keeping the deer and the rabbits and the woodchucks and the spider mites and aphids and cucumber beetles etc from eating YOUR plants before you get a chance to eat them is a problem…

Gardeners may gripe and moan about that but it is the nature of the activity to have challenges to your success. Your purpose is to solve them and then maximize your yield. If you don’t like doing that. Stop gardening. Gardening also involves something called “work”. Lifting bags of soil. Digging holes, building raised beds, weeding, watering, even HARVESTING can be a drag…. unless you realize that it is part of a process that is thoroughly enjoyable.

For many guys the obstacle to their happiness and well being is their inability to attract and land the kind of woman that they THINK they want to fuck… or live with… or whatever it is they think they want…

Notice I said “think they want”. You want a hot 10 babe-licious woman because you think having her will make you happy. You imagine fucking her and it being great…

But most of the time you just sit there frozen with fear and she goes home with some total asshole because he wasn’t intimidated by her hotness…. And you? You end up jerking off to porn. So you “solve the problem” of your sexual desire the easiest way. Without risking anything or learning anything. That’s a bit like the wannabe gardener buying some little cactus at walmart and thinking he’s a master gardener.

But ultimately EVERY problem carries with it the OPPORTUNITY for greatness…

But when we get upset at our challenges or when things don’t go the way we THINK they SHOULD go. We create suffering.

Suffering sucks. Stop it! Start asking yourself THIS question: “What if THIS “problem” is PERFECT?” “What if this is my “JEDI” warrior’s challenge?”

I have a couple of guy friends that are in relationships. They got in to those relationships to solve the problem of their loneliness and desire for physical intimacy. Most likely their women got in to those relationships to solve similar problems… or to find a good father for their children. Whatever. They may have solved one problem but they created the next level of opportunity for growth.

You see, whatever we do, we are attempting to remove obstacles to our well being and happiness… which often works for a little while until the “solution” becomes the “problem”. Then we have to solve the new problem and when we do, quite often the pattern repeats. That is life.

This is all supposed to happen! Because if it didn’t we would be bored as fuck. The next step is to find a way to resolve the obstacle to happiness in as elegant and congruent a way as possible. To solve the equation in as deep and wide and ecological way as humanly possible…

For example: In my garden. I moved to this new place last June. I had already started greens, cucumbers and tomatoes in pots at my previous apartment. So I moved them to my new location and BAM! The damn rabbits and wood chucks hit me HARD. So to solve that problem, I could have started killing them, OR I could simply put the damn pots up on tables. Which I did. problem solved.

UNTIL the deer came through one night and hit a bunch more of them… The tables saved them the hassle of bending down… Solution? First I tried some deer spray shit… which didn’t work that well. Then I built a corral of chairs and empty bins around my garden… worked pretty we’ll… But not perfectly… so after some deep thought and imagining, this year I have built a deer fence.

Is the problem solved? It might. But certainly something else will arise to keep me interested.

I would like to add, that since my solution to the rabbits and woodchucks was putting stuff up on tables, now I do not have to bend over to weed or harvest my veggies. The solution to one “problem” solved another one… That’s ELEGANCE in the solution business…

The problem with “Problems” is that we solve them and then idiotically think they will STAY SOLVED.

Perhaps THAT is the real “problem”?

Quite often the problem is us. Why am I even bothering to garden when I can just get food at the grocery store?

Because IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND FILLS ME WITH WELL BEING… to walk out and pick my own fresh food. I LIKE getting a good work out doing actual work that benefits me in ways other than just exercise. Again. An elegant solution.

Ultimately that is what we are doing ALL THE FUCKING TIME! Attempting to keep ourselves happy and in a state of feeling good.

So this is where innovation comes in. Last year I got hit by animals on the ground and deer at waist height… one solution is to grow stuff on top of my trailer or behind my new deer fence.

This is the story of EVERYTHING. Look around at all the cool shit we have. Cars. Cell phones. Computers. The invention of cars caused a lot of problems.

The shitty dirt roads that were fine for horses and walking suddenly were a problem for going fast. And going fast was a problem to the soft mushy bodies we live in so we had to have safer roads and safer cars…

Then the damn things burned up too much gasoline so we had to have cars that were fuel efficient… and driving was so boring and safe that we needed rumble strips on the sides and in the middle so if we fell asleep at the wheel, we would get woken up by the rumble noise…

Do you see how this works?

Now let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about your “problem”.

Let’s say it’s approach anxiety. You see a pretty girl and you want to fuck her. But you can’t just see a pretty girl and AUTOMATICALLY have her walk over to you lift up her skirt and climb on to your hard dick…

Wouldn’t THAT be cool?

Not going to fucking happen. right?

If it would make you happy to be able to fuck her whenever you want, you are going to have to solve some pretty cool problems. The cool thing is every one of these problems that you must solve will make you a way better man, a better lover and more likely to be able to attract better and better women.

“Problem”: Somehow you have to go from noticing her hotness, her attractiveness to getting up off your ass and walking over to her and letting her know you exist. Because guaranteed, if she is as hot as you say, plenty of other guys have noticed her and many of them don’t have your problem of being shy. So you could focus on “getting over your shyness”. You can practice thinking and acting like a guy who has actual balls and confidence. That’s pretty cool. Or, perhaps there is an even more elegant solution? Like beginning to think and act like the kind of guy who WOMEN CHECK OUT AND COME OVER AND INTRODUCE THEMSELVES TO…

For example, I went on a few dates with this woman who was really into dogs. She told me that at a dog show she actually tripped and fell right at actor Kevin Bacon’s feet. He was duly impressed. “I’ve had women do a lot of things to try to meet me,” he said with a sly smile, “But THAT was really putting your all into it!”

They had a nice laugh about that, what we call a “Moment” and because he is a married man, nothing else came of it…

BUT WHAT IF?!

What if YOU walked around with that same kind of “Kevin Bacon” attitude, using ANYTHING that happens with women, ANY interaction to make challenging comments with a sly wink?

And a little side comment here: Notice that Kevin Bacon was at a dog obedience event. Even though he’s a famous actor, he actually leaves his house to go out in public and do shit he is interested in. Get it? He leaves his house and goes out into the world to do shit that is INTERESTING TO HIM.

Hint: Women find men who are out in the world pursuing their “path” to be attractive. Guys who live in their parents basement and play video games all the time are not. If you have no interests. Fucking get some.

Now back to the main THRUST of our little talk…

What if in your own mind YOU were a star? What if in your own mind you were a catch? You were to women what that hot 20 something babe is to men?

What if you were the guy who walks into a room and all the women NOTICE… What if YOU are the guy they fantasize about being with?

What would life be like then?

Who would be happy and fulfilled then?

“But wait!” you protest. “I’m NOT a movie star!”

OK, so the real problem is that you don’t think you are good enough to fuck hot women. So you therefore give away all your power to the pussy…

Perhaps my friend THAT is your “real” “problem”. You put pretty women up on pedestals and therefore lower your own value in relationship to theirs. That’s just another opportunity isn’t it?

What if I could teach you how to powerfully install a new program in your mind. Let’s call it the “Kevin Bacon” or “the [cool actor of your choice] program”.

I mean Kevin Bacon is a decent actor. But he’s not exactly considered the greatest actor of all time. Yet women throw themselves at him…

He is famous. But so what? There are a lot of guys who are not famous but who THINK like the kind of guy who is. Who walk like they are hot shit. Who challenge and tease women. Who put themselves higher on a pedestal than she is.

What if you installed deep in your unconscious mind this little notion: “Any woman would be fortunate to have the opportunity to be with me.” and all the variations of that. “Any woman would be fortunate to have the opportunity to talk to me…”

What if you walked around broadcasting that idea with your body language, your voice tonality, your attitude? What if you actually and totally BELIEVED it yourself? Really believe it. Deep in your Unconscious Mind. You are that guy. What would that be like?

The bottom line my friend is that when you solve this little “problem” you will have ample opportunity to solve many other delicious challenges like, “now that I’ve fucked her and she’s addicted to my cock, how do I get rid of her so I can continue to fuck other women too?” or even better: “Now that she’s addicted to my cock, how can I frame our relating so that I can ethically and honestly continue to fuck other women too?”

All of that to bring you to the point of the day which is:

What if solving this “problem” (and any other “problem” that may arise) is actually the reason you are here in this little space ship called a “body” in the first place?

What if the thrill of solving this problem was more interesting and fulfilling than any TV show, movie or video game? What if YOU ARE THE STAR of this movie called your life?

Personal mastery is about rising to the challenges and joyfully solving the “problems” that are the keys to you developing new and better levels of mastery.

Are you in?

Let’s get started.

Step one: Join Team Cowabungah below. It’s free and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Step two: Start watching your email “in-box” for immediately useable tools and techniques to re-wire your circuits so that you have full and free access to her “in-boxes”….

Step three: Apply the ideas you learn here. Adjust. Adapt. Experiment. Email me to tell my about your wins, successes, triumphs and challenges. Apply. Adjust. Adapt. Repeat. Level up. Repeat. Level up. Repeat…

Do it. Now!

Questions? Thoughts? Comments?

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

George Carlin’s Ultimate Success Tip

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What was the key ingredient to George Carlin’s ultimate success?

“Not Giving A Shit.”

It wasn’t some big break. It was a recognition of an attitude that shifted EVERYTHING.

Jason Capital calls it, “Being Care Free” or “Not giving a fuck”.

But it all comes down to an attitude that almost edges on arrogance.

Major league players have it. They KNOW they are good. They don’t give a shit if you like them or not. THEY know they can hit a ball out of the park and you can’t. They know deep in their hearts they are world class. And they are activating their own dream every single day.

Self made millionaires have it. They know that if everything goes to shit, they can start over from scratch and be right back on top.

Ultimately one of the key transformation tools that we have to explore as men is the idea that we have to take an authentic stand. The moment we stop trying to please everybody else, women, mom and dad, teachers, bankers, authority figures, etc. We begin to free ourselves from the constraints and cages that pleasing all those people have forced us into.

Cages suck. Cages are small. Cages are uncomfortable. But ultimately cages are safe.

Speaking your mind is not. Being true to yourself is NOT safe.

That’s why a man who doesn’t care what other people think about him is so damn attractive to women. Ultimately women are attracted to a man who is inwardly powerful. SHE cannot pull him off his path. So eventually she stops trying and jumps on the train that HE is driving.

Up to this point, my guess is that you are:

  1. a highly sensitive empathic man. That’s cool you’re going to learn how to use that for your benefit.
  2. at some point you have attempted to play by “their” rules. You became a “pleaser” because it worked with mom and your teachers, but now it’s the very thing that is keeping you from breaking free into your greatness.
  3. an extremely intelligent, talented, creative guy, a reader, an explorer of new and leading edge ideas.
  4. most probably an introvert. They used to call it “loner” until some crazy mofos who were “loners” turned out to be psychopaths. You may be a loner but you prefer your women alive and free. You just prefer to be alone because it helps you to manage the information and sensory overload on your neurology.
  5. Coachable. You are a guy who is always looking to improve. You want to understand the world on a deeper level than most. You are not content to just coast through life.
  6. You have a spark of greatness in you. Admit it! It’s there just waiting for someone to fucking believe in you… Ultimately YOU have to believe in YOU, but it helps to have someone give you permission to crank that shit up.

You may not yet be ready for this but you can be among the first to give this new course a test drive:

“How To Be The Man The Women You Want CRAVE”

Hey, I don’t care if you join or not, however if you DO Join Team Cowabungah Today you’ll Get First Crack at this and other kick ass courses…plus fresh Cowabungah moments after I create it… Plus this shit could totally change your life in a good way. Whatever. :o)

Questions? Thoughts? Comments?

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

What Do Women Really Want?

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13538947_s
What do women REALLY want?

Busting Modern Myths About Men that Women “Logically” Believe But Don’t “Bio-Logically”…

… causing us guys to heroically attempt to live up to them, only to fail miserably, disappointing our women and ourselves for no good reason.

Myth One: “There is a man out there who is the ONE.”

Just visit any online dating site and peruse a few of the profiles women put up where they talk about their “match.”

The majority seem to believe there is actually, somewhere “out there” the perfect “Prince Charming” who will sweep her off her feet and be perfectly agreeable, companionable, honest and loyal. This man will be strong, handsome, patient, compassionate, able to show his feelings, able to empathize with her feelings, able to support her in a manner to which she would love to become accustomed, and generally be kind to small animals and children.

This man does not exist. What she is actually describing is a Labrador Retriever. And probably a female Lab to boot…

And what’s worse, the men who have sucked it in and attempted to be this agreeable, companionable and loyal “guy” basically get shoved into the friend zone. Women either inexplicably find “no chemistry” with this man or find him to be “unattractive” or downright repulsive.

Want to test this? Try showing your emotions sometime. Get all emotional and sad and weepy about something your boss said or didn’t say to you. “He doesn’t appreciate me” sniff sniff…

“Man up!” she’ll probably say. “Stop whining and do your job like a man!” If she doesn’t say it, she’s thinking it.

Or try this, tell her you love her and adore her and only want to be with her every single moment of the day…. then watch her run for the exit!

Ultimately the Modern Man that many Modern Women yearn for is a myth-o-logical, idea built up by years and years of movies and fantasy novels and feminist rallys. The “real” man she wants is a guy who doesn’t take her shit seriously. A guy who is truly the rock and lighthouse to her “ocean of emotion”. But she will never admit that. Mostly because she doesn’t even know it herself.

Ultimately she doesn’t want an equal. She actually wants a guy she looks up to, a guy who SHE wants to please and validate herself to.

This is kind of weird but by being the “nice” guy you thought she wanted you to be, you were being the exact opposite of what she really wants.

By trying to be the guy she wants, you are actually lowering your “status” in her “monkey mind” (we are primates remember). The guy she wants doesn’t change HIS behavior to be what SHE wants. Kind of weird huh? Illogical? Myth-o-logical?

But it IS…. “BIO-LOGICAL”.

So she may be looking for the One and admit that you have a lot of the traits she says she wants but she won’t be able to actually tell you Why she is Not attracted to YOU…. She may SAY she wants a guy like you. But what she really wants deep in her animal body is a man who can kill shit.

For her.

And protect her ass and her future children from bad guys.

This guy, she BIO-LOGICALLY wants by the way, doesn’t ask permission to kiss her or anything else for that matter. He just goes for what he wants.

Is that YOU? Nope. Not yet. But we are going to fix that. Check out my new course: How To Become The Man The Women You Want…Really Want.

“Oh but she’s so HOT, Mark. I’ll never find anyone else as wonderful as her…”

Fuck that. Get her down off that pedestal. She takes a shit just like you do. And it smells just as bad as your shit. And trust me your shit smells bad dude… Sheesh! Use the air freshener next time.

Beauty is common. Depth is rare. You are now the kind of man who doesn’t care… Time to learn how to be unattached to outcomes. 

You are NOT the ONE.

But imagine for a moment that you ARE the guy she will fvck without demanding a commitment.

Why? Because you are unashamedly selfish and self absorbed, into your own thing that is way more important to you than her… You need your space. And she respects that. Because if she gave you shit about it you would send her away or go away without a backward glance… and never fvck her again.

And she wants you to fvck her like the bad boy you are… a lot. But you are busy. Oh well. She’ll have to wait.

You are also “lazy” in some folks eyes because you don’t spend every second working in some fucking cubicle. Oh and you don’t give a shit how much money you have in the bank even if you are a millionaire… Of course if you’re really a millionaire she will chase you harder. Not because of the money but because you’re the kind of guy who puts his plans into action and takes charge of his own life and business.

She knows with you that it’s only a matter of time before you lose interest in her… because there are so many other women who want to fvck you… It just makes sense to her on some deep level… the BIO-LOGICAL level.

Hey, I didn’t invent this system. NATURE did. If  you want to learn how to have it SERVE you (and ironically SERVE the women in your life) for a change instead of drive you nuts check out the course: How To Become The Man The Women You Want…Really Want.

Social Proof: Women want a man who other women want...
Social Proof: Women want a man who other women want…

Myth Two: “Monogamy is normal”

BUSTED. As the Bruce Cockburn song goes, “The trouble with “normal” is it always gets worse…”

Let’s be honest. Monogamy doesn’t exist.

It is a fantasy state that may flicker past for a moment when the sexual energy is good, but it is a total illusion… Think about it. Two people actually promise to not have sex with anyone else? For the rest of their lives? And how often does that bullshit promise they make to each other crash and burn?

Like mostly.

I currently have two girlfriends and I think about having sex with them all the time, except when I’m imagining having sex with other women.

The difference is I am being honest about that with my women and they are honest about the hots they have for other guys.

My last monogamous girlfriend was adamant that there were men (somewhere) who once they decided to be with someone only wanted to have sex with that one person. She  BELIEVED this. I was attempting to be honest with her and told her I was attracted to somebody. Well she couldn’t handle that. She would rather be alone than with an honest man.

Maybe there are men who only want their woman (or women) to have sex with them. But those guys will still want other women…

Usually the same women who are searching for the “One,” seem to think that once they find this mythical man, he will only want to have sex with HER. For the rest of his life.

The bottom line is that after a few years of even the best sex, (make that days), any actual man with an actual penis and balls will want to fvck some other woman or women… If most men were honest they would tell you that the more sex they get with their “monogamous” partner, the more they want other women and strangely, the more other women seem to be attracted to them.

Truth be told. Women get bored too. In fact women have an even greater capacity for sexual expression than men do. More women also identify with being bi-sexual which totally increases their chance of a date on a Saturday night with someone OTHER than her main squeeze.

So ultimately even the women who preach monogamy aren’t that good at it either.

What do women REALLY want?
What do women REALLY want?

Myth Three: Men Pursue Women Not The Other Way Around.

This is sort of true but only in a certain context. We’ve all experienced a guy seeing a hot woman and charging after her like a crazed bull after a herd of heifers in heat.

Who doesn’t want to be wanted?

But many hot women understand deep down that even if the thing that everybody likes about her (her looks) is a total freak of nature’s lottery that happens to be culturally in style as “sexy” these days… It’s still nice that other people value it… But ultimately hot women want to be valued for more than their looks… of course plain women might feel the opposite.

Either way, they actually WANT to be the pursuers.

They want to look up to their man. A man of higher status. A man of power and prestige. A man of influence. A man pursuing his path and not really aware of her… or bothering to notice her… A man she can admire from afar and work to get close to.

The other reason that women are not attracted to guys chasing them, is that it’s too easy – Easy, not as in immoral, easy as in “just not challenging”.

In other words: boring.

For example: “He adores me and I’m a bitch to him because he’s a dull, boring fool who just lets me have my own way… boring, boring, boring.” Haven’t you ever overheard a conversation like that at a diner or bar?

The reason women love a bad boy is that he doesn’t tiptoe around them. He shows up and takes what he wants, gives only what he wants, says what he wants, does what he wants.  And because what he wants is so fvcking cool and interesting, she wants to follow his lead.

She can also trust him because he is HONEST. If he doesn’t want to do something he says so. The “nice” guy will usually lie and pretend he WANTS to do shit with her that he is only doing because he thinks doing what she wants is what she wants…

Crazy huh?

The deep BIO-LOGICAL program my friend is “Her Pursuing YOU.”

But the question is, are you interesting enough for the kind of women you really want?

Or, Are you at this moment kind of boring? Come on be honest! Be honest with yourself. Are living the life you want to be living?

Imagine your dream is to travel the world fly fishing, making music with the locals,  connecting with region’s sustainability farmers and hanging out with the hottest of the local girls while you’re in town…

Why aren’t you doing that?

Or, why aren’t you doing the thing you need to be doing so that you can get to that thing you really want?

Or maybe you are three steps removed and you have to do the thing that leads you to the thing that you need to do first in order to eventually do the thing you want to do…

It’s all good! No matter where you are on your “Massive Throbbing Path With Heart”, if you are pursuing your dream, it’s attractive to her.

Need some help creating a life that is so fvcking compelling and adventurous and creative and powerful and healthy and joyful that you can hardly wait to wake up every morning and get to it?

Yeah I’ve got a course: How To Become The Man The Women You Want…Really Want.

Reality check:

The Masculine INITIATES, and leads. The Feminine Follows.

He never Pursues. Pursuing is NOT leading.

She pursues him. Become that man and she will become one of your women. I can help you become that guy if you are not yet there.

Why is this stuff such a secret? It’s all about power baby. As a group women like having the power of guys wanting them. All of the advertisers in the world know they can con men into spending money on women in order to “buy” their affection. It doesn’t get men affection but it gets women lots of cool stuff without having to pay for it. How many Ferrarri’s have been purchased (or leased for the day) in order to impress some woman? External status can be faked. The real deal inside you? Can’t.

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Innovation

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Today’s Cowabungah musing is about innovation inspired by Ricardo Semler’s book, “Maverick: the Success Story Behind The World’s Most Unusual Workplace”.

I explore how thinking outside of the box, or cubicle can lead you to massive throbbing breakthroughs in your life, your work, your relating, your health… Give it a shot.

The challenge at the end of the video is this:

Imagine you have only 1 year left to live. How will you live it?
Imagine you have only 90 days. How will you live it?
Imagine you have only 1 month. How will you live it?
Imagine you have only 1 week. How will you live it?
Imagine you have only 1 day. How will you live it?

Write these answer down. And start today to live in that way.

Do this exercise every 90 days or so and it will keep you spot on track to living an incredible life.

I would record all my songs, (doing it).
I would record my thoughts in videos (doing it)
I would help guys like you take back their power to create their best lives in all areas: health, wealth and relating.(doing it)
This is the process I use continually to pursue my own Massive Throbbing Vision for my life.

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Still Searching for the One?

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32993444_sCowabungah Relationship Rant:

Why Searching For The “One” or “Mr. or Mrs. Right” is Not only Ridiculous… It’s literally REPULSIVElY idiotic and against our basic natures – both for men and women…

Back story: I’m on a number of email lists from various dating coaches… it’s always clear who the coach is coaching whether they are male or female dating coaches..

The Dating coaches for men help their clients to “Get Laid”

The Dating Coaches for women help their clients to “Find Mr. Right”.

I’ve noticed in particular on Match.com and other dating websites, certain women are increasingly almost harsh in their insistence on “Strict Monogamy”. A recent profile of one of the few women I found attractive on Match basically said, “don’t even email me if you are even thinking of seeing other women.” As if I should stop being interested in all other women before we even have a first fvcking date! Huh?

There is an increasingly pervasive cultural message that somehow there is something “wrong” with men who “can’t commit”. As if committing to one woman is the ultimate goal. As if having an active and healthy attraction for more than one woman is somehow “wrong” or even “sick”.

Sheesh!

So I’m on this email list of a coach I knew back in a previous place I used to live. She sends out an email today to her list of mostly women over 40 who all want this “one”.

Now, this dating coach is a woman who decided in her early 40’s, the time had come to “git her a husband.” So she went on a crash diet and lost 100 pounds and went into the dating arena as if it were a war to the death. She went on something like 100 dates until she at last found her “perfect Prince”…Somehow she was able to stay slender long enough for him to propose to her and get married. Of course she gained all the weight back once she had him the bag.

I met the guy. Totally pussy whipped, “low status” male. I could tell he was fucking miserable with her but was too afraid of his chances out on the “free market.” Safer just to live in quiet desperation being told what to do by his dominant wife…

Anyway, watch the video: I do one of my best “rants” ever! (And NO apologies for any marriage minded women who may watch this and not like what I have to say)

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…