Dating and Relating

Interview with Dating Coach Mike Covey

March 26, 2015 by Mark Shepard

My friend and NLP Student, Mike Covey shares some of his most recent dating successes after applying some of the Cowabungah Concepts and attitudes that we’ve been been installing in his unconscious mind over the last few months…

He’s taking a radically different approach to dating than the traditional “serial monogamy” that so many guys get trapped in, giving away their power, closing down their own pleasure and power in the sad attempt to get what they want in life…

The difference between men who THINK they know what they are doing with women and men who apply intelligent DEEP AWARENESS of what women actually want… and respond to…

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Warrior of Love

March 23, 2015 by Mark Shepard

Are you a wimp or a warrior of love?

Have you been trained from an early age to give away all your power to women? I’ve got news for you.

1. You are not alone.

2. You are suffering needlessly.

3. And what’s worse, the women who are dominating and bossing you around in your life are secretly MISERABLE too.

“This gender neutral world is so obviously NOT working!”
– Jason Capital, “America’s Honest Dating Coach”

I wrote this new song after I reviewed a number of Jason Capital’s dating courses for men.

If you are wondering why you can never seem to get anywhere with the women you really want, just
Click Here!

Are You A Warrior Yet?

(on the Battlefield of Love)

Song # 498 | 3/20-23/2015

I was practicing my Jason Capital “Conversation Crack”
With a woman who’s hair and clothes and fingernails were black
It was clear she wanted someone who could dominate his path
Who could cut right through the crap & drive her crazy in the sack

So I hooked her on a line of sincere disdain
Pushed and pulled her til she simply begged me to remain
And I teased her til she came to the bright conclusion
That everything she thought she knew about love was illusion

Refrain:
Are you a warrior yet…
Are you a warrior yet…
Are you a warrior yet…
On the battlefield of love?

So I painted her a picture of a better deal
Where no one owned another and attraction was real
Where a man could make it safe for a woman to feel
Her ocean of emotions with him steady at the wheel

Refrain:

Now she’s chasing me around like I’m some kind of God
Another couple more and I’ll have my own cheerleader squad
There are no more nights sitting home alone forlorn
And I’m grateful for the day that Jason Capital was born…

Why Men Are Better

March 21, 2015 by Mark Shepard

Why Men Are Better Than Women…

(At Being Men…)

Look around. See any goal oriented, successful women lately?

Driving their luxury cars, buying and selling real estate…

Wearing their power suits.

Take charge. No-nonsense, C-level executives, entrepreneurs, administrators, CEO’s in business, “take charge” kind of women in so many areas of their own life…

Scratch the surface of those amazing, modern, successful, liberated ladies (ahem, WOMEN)…

and you will find a little “Cinderella” girl still dreaming of the prince charming who will somehow show up out of the blue and whisk her away on a romantic adventure…

The bottom line of the “Feminine” is that it is NOT viscerally, unconsciously attracted to men of “lower status” or lower “Power”…
She is however, attracted to men of higher status/power/social standing.

If she’s a CEO of a million dollar company, HE will need to be a CEO of a larger one… or have other deeply masculine traits that allow her to step out of the pants and into “something a little more comfortable…”

But those guys are RARE. [but not for long if I have anything to say and do about it…]

What you can also notice as you look around are a certain, “soft” “gentle” man who tags along after these powerful women…

Somehow he’s a man… I mean he sort of looks like a guy but he is compliant and defers to her in all things… In other words SHE’s “wearing the pants” — the other term that shows up is “Pussy Whipped”. Ultimately he’s a man in form but not in spirit.

She’s got the masculine energy tightly gripped in her little manicured hands… The bizarre thing is that she wants to let it go but she can’t just fvcking hand it to the guy.

He’s got to TAKE it.

Hint: The Masculine does not ask permission.

Let’s take it to a different context: DANCING.

I talked to a woman at a relationship seminar a while back who shared a story about taking Tango lessons… “it took me a YEAR,” she explained, “to stop TRYING to LEAD…” whenever she forgot to follow or tried to take the lead (as she was used to, being a modern American woman), the Argentinian male dancers would literally just walk away from her in disgust, leaving her embarrassed and alone in the middle of the dance floor..

We both had our little “ahah moment” about that. The modern American woman is used to leading… The modern American male is used to being told what to do by the feminine. Many of us raised by single moms, internalize that we were supposed to be pleasing mommy, pleasing our mostly female teachers, told by the media our job is to please women, take them places, buy them things, give them what they want… treat her like royalty, give her all our money. Ask her permission before we make decisions… Ask permission before we kiss them… Constantly being told to remember “no means no”. And that our sexuality is threatening and unwelcome to women… so many of my guy clients use the phrase “walking on eggshells” around the women in their lives…

Ultimately, leadership is a dominant masculine quality. If she is holding the masculine, the laws of Polarity determine that her man will HAVE to take the feminine energy pole…

Ultimately this is the worst kind of Pole Dancing for BOTH men and women.

And repeatedly I hear women sigh and wistfully ask, “Where are all the men?”

What they are really asking is “where are the men who by sheer force of character and empowerment, LEAD?” She wants him to lead her back into her feminine where she can relax, feel safe, soften and open up.

Women all over the world are asking for men to stop following and start leading… but obviously they ain’t just going to let go of their power… they can’t MAKE a man lead. HE has to take that mission on his own initiative and lead without asking her permission. And she may not automatically follow his lead.

She will test each man to see if he is authentically leading from the masculine or just trying to manipulate her into another relationship where she has to wear the pants and make things happen… She will make a show of attempting to take over the lead, but really, she doesn’t want to win this battle… The truth is she can’t just hand it to him. She has to know on a deep level that he is strong enough to handle HER without becoming flustered or freaked out.

He needs to be the Lighthouse solidly grounded on the rock, so that she can be free to be the Ocean of emotion which washes over the lighthouse which stands unmoved by even the most intense emotional storms… Once that is established she can relax and feel safe….

I also talk to many women who are in long term marriages with their “best friends”… and they inadvertently mention (again wistfully) there is no sexual spark. Again when I look at these relationships from the outside, it is ALWAYS clear to me that the woman is trapped in the masculine energy… and the man by default is stuck in the feminine…

Because this is unconsciously PROGRAMMED by our current cultural framework and media bias, neither one of them has a clue as to what is going on… they just know something is missing… Most resign themselves to just putting up with it and going through the motions of being happy.

I think that’s a tragedy for both Men and Women.

The Poet Rilke over one hundred years ago forsaw our current predicament as well as the ultimate resolution:

The girl and the woman, in their new, their own unfolding, will but in passing be imitators of masculine ways, good and bad, and repeaters of masculine professions. After the uncertainty of such transitions it will become apparent that some were only going through the profusion and the vicissitude of those (often ridiculous) disguises in order to cleanse their own most characteristic nature of the distorting influences of the other sex…. Some day there will be girls and women whose name will no longer signify merely an opposite of the masculine, but something in itself, something that makes one think , not of any complement and limit, but only of life and existence: The feminine human being… Rainer Maria Rilke, “Letters To A Young Poet” page 59

While my headline “Why Men Are Better…” was intended to be controversial to get your attention, the point is NOT that the masculine is in any way “better” than the feminine. Both masculine and feminine are the yin and yang of the same elements of life… neither is better. Both are necessary.

My point is that men are better at being masculine than women are. And women are better at being feminine. And what that means is not that men should dominate, control, boss around or otherwise limit the females of our species into 2nd class citizens. No! Equal pay for equal work. Equal rights all the way.

It’s just that the MASCULINE must LEAD. A man must dominate his path. A man must put his vision and quest for accomplishment first, before his women. And deep down she wants it that way.

A man must feel comfortable taking risks, speaking his truth, stepping out into the world to achieve and conquer his weaknesses. A man must seek the company of other men in order to feel totally at ease with his own maleness.

The masculine is not ashamed of it’s self. The masculine will NOT be told to “behave”. It will Not be censored by politically correct “polite” language that reeks of “fitting in” or “compromise in favor of pleasing women.” On some levels the masculine does not “give a fvck”. The mission is on. Either follow or get out of the way.

Ultimately despite whatever women say about equality, most women secretly despise the men in their lives who they can control or dominate.

Ultimately the masculine and feminine are destined to dance together in sweet, rocking delight, enjoying each other and the differences that polarize us sexually and allow us to fully experience the wonders of magnetic attraction…

And all I’m saying is that men are better at being men (once they figure out that they ARE men) than women are at being men. And of course it goes to show that women are way better at being women than men are at being women…

So America, Europe, South American, Australia, Asia, Africa, welcome to the revolution… Not back to the stupid, rigid social ways of the past but forward in a new direction where men and women can come over and over again to the same conclusion: “Viva La Difference!”

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

Why Men Lie To Women

March 5, 2015 by Mark Shepard

This is a huge subject and one I think that you might want to consider diving in to.

We are all fvcking liars. Men lie to women all the time. Women lie to men as well but our lying is mostly the result of being afraid of their reactions. So we attempt to control things by sliding over the truth… thinking she won’t notice…

For example, the classic: “no you don’t look fat in those jeans” or “no I’m not attracted to your best friend.” And don’t forget about, “Sure, I want to be monogamous” or “I love going to your folks house.”

Oh but wait!

What about “sure, I’ll take care of your cats whenever you’re away”? or “Sure, I’ll fix your computer.”

Why men really lie

We don’t want to deal with the negative uncomfortable feelings that might come up if we tell our woman what we think she doesn’t want to hear. After all, when a woman is upset she’s unpredictable.

And we HATE unpredictable.

It rattles us and causes us to “tell her what she wants to hear.” Well, I’m here to tell you that is just about the most selfish, cruel and ultimately self destructive thing you can do. It’s also extremely “low status” and one of the secret reasons why women “lose attraction” for their man.

We ought to man up and start telling the truth…

Like instead of “OK let’s be monogamous”, how about, “Hey I really like you and I’m attracted to you and it feels like we are heading somewhere really cool together, and because I deeply respect you I have to be honest, [notice there was no “but”] and tell you that I don’t really feel like I can make that kind of a commitment yet. Not sure I could ever make that.”

You know? Imagine being man enough to actually say whatever is true for you… right then and there.

This last scenario would have saved me 4 years of relationship angst and personal pain, not to mention untended trauma inflicted on my last girlfriend… who wanted “the One”. Who wanted Monogamy and Exclusivity.

We were getting hot and heavy and moved into her bedroom. Naked. Passion flowing and Juices dripping…. and THAT’S when she said, “If we do this it HAS to be monogamous.”

If it hadn’t been soooo long since I’d had sex….

If she wasn’t so Hot….

If I wasn’t so lonely…

I SHOULD have said, “well, I really like you and I’m really hot to have great sex with you, and I don’t feel like I can honestly make that kind of promise to yet.”

I should have been willing to WALK THE FVCK AWAY. But I didn’t have the balls because I wanted her right then. And so I lied.

I said, “Ok. Let’s be monogamous.” I actually almost believed it when I said it…

BOOM! how many fvcking seconds did that take?

And I was caught by my pubes… AGAIN.

You see, I was raised by a powerful, dominant mother who preached, “If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.” And a father who said, “Always keep your promises.”

My mother also talked a ton of shit about how men were abusive and uncaring to women. How we men did horrible things like “see women as sex objects.”

Shit. I didn’t want to be a “bad” man. So I took in her agenda and allowed it to confuse and weaken me…

Why do you lie?

And I am so not alone. I coach guys every day who have been emasculated and pussy whipped to the point of despair. And the weird paradox is, Their women HATE THAT THEY ARE SO EASILY PUSHED AROUND!

We all live in the culture of the “white lie” where we tell each other harmless little fibs so everybody feels better about themselves and their fat asses and small dicks ( I mean paychecks).

Here’s an example: I have a friend who is cheating on his wife.

I don’t blame him.

I think she’s a narcissistic professional “victim”. But she just went through a “really tough time” so he doesn’t want to tell her their marriage is over because it would get her upset. Then there were the holidays… he didn’t want to upset her over the holidays because that would be cruel… Then there was a lot going on at work…. Then her birthday was coming up and that wouldn’t be right…

He didn’t want to tell her then because it would be too uncaring… and he finally admitted, stressful for him…

And that is the most honest reason he has given…. He doesn’t want to deal with her shit so it is much easier for him to just fvck some other woman while his wife is going through her “tough” time…

So he has just closed down…. “Don’t you love me anymore?” she whines. “Sure dear…” Then he changes the subject. Somehow he thinks he’s fooling her.

REALLY!?

She probably knew months ago but she’s a fvcking liar too… She’s probably waiting to divorce HIS ass until she can get her claws on some more of his money… or until she can afford her own place… or until she has another “sucker” guy lined up to “rescue” her from herself…

Change a few details and this describes most of the shitty relationships in our culture…

Speaking from your true self

We are now several generations of men who were raised by women, taught by women and now often work for women… Women who they have been trained to please and obey. It’s kind of nauseating to me now… the way I worried so fucking much about upsetting “her.” Mostly because if I upset her she would take away the thing I really was hanging out with her to get, SEX.

But ironically tip toeing around her “moods” and putting up with her unacceptable behavior is exactly what keeps her from wanting to have sex with you.

Isn’t it ridiculous that so many of us make our fvcking deals with the fvcking “devil” in the lame hopes of getting sex. But ironically, being pliable pleasers and “yes” men to our women not only turns them off sexually — it pisses them off in ways that they are not even aware of.

Maybe that’s the real source of RAGE that women feel about men.

Even the most “liberated ” woman unconsciously wants a man who is not afraid of her. She wants a man who isn’t threatened by her emotional storms. Who allows her to express herself without having to edit or censer herself in order to “Pwotect his wittle feeewings”.

So in other words, his fear of her anger causes him to lie about his true feelings and desires so he hides his true self… and attempts to manipulate her into having sex…

His truth may be that he just wants to fuck her and then do his own thing. His truth may be that he isn’t really attracted to fat women. She USED to be slender. But now she’s 50 pounds heavier and is jamming food in her mouth so fast it’s obvious it ain’t gonna change very soon.

But if he tells her she IS fat and not just in those jeans, she will get upset and yell and throw things or make things very uncomfortable for him. AND she will damn well NOT be giving any blow jobs in the near future… No backrubs. Not making any dinner either… So instead of leading her with his powerful masculine energy, he abdicates his power to her.

And while she may at first enjoy having things her way, ultimately she will be miserable as well…

The bottom line is that she can’t trust him. And the reality is we tell ourselves that the white lies are to protect the other person’s feelings. The truth is we are really lying to ourselves. We are lying to protect ourselves from having to deal with conflict or unpleasant interactions.

But if he was honest from the beginning. She would have been able to make her own decision about whether she wanted to fvck him anyway…. (news: they often want to fvck you anyway. It’s usually just a test so she can justify fvcking you without feeling like a slut or that she’s too easy.)

And yeah, women lie too.

But if you are ready to step in to your power as a man, you won’t need to lie any more. You will never again have to worry about not getting enough sex. You will never again have to lie to get what you want. You won’t need to.

As an honest man, you speak your truth. And she can either take it or leave it. You will be surprised at how often she chooses to respect you and follow your lead.

Cowabungah!

P.S. If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…

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Interview with Dating Coach Mike Covey