Dating and Relating

It’s probably not the most popular subject for a men’s blog.

Sexual shame.

Isn’t that something women have?

If you have invested any time or effort attempting to understand women, you have to acknowledge that our culture has a MASSIVE double standard that women have to dance to sexually speaking.

On the one hand the media pumps out all this “sexy woman” content in order to grab our attention and get us to buy shit.

And it works. Click. Whir. Buzz. Ding. Cha-ching…

On the other hand women are more afraid of being called “sluts” than pretty much anything else.

So we have a culture that glorifies sex and denies it at the same time.

As far as we men go there is another double standard. If we are too obviously sexual we are treated as sexual stalkers and creeps. If we tone that side of ourselves down we get dumped into the “friend zone.”

As an NLP Practitioner working with men, I get a lot of highly intelligent, caring, loving, talented, passionate, guys who at some point in their lives got tangled up in some level of sexual shame. Unfortunately it usually manifests as “Performance Anxiety” or “Erectile Dysfunction. ” Sometimes it can result in extreme shyness or social anxiety.

(If this is you, you definitely need to check out my new course, “Master Your Mojo”. It will help you kick the ass of sexual shame and get back to  your birthright as a sexual god.)

But while women get a lot of social support for sexual trauma (as well as a lot of sympathy), we men usually keep our mouths shut and just suffer in silence.

In fact one of the tragic things about male sexual shame is that guys often will not talk about it even with the women they are in relationships with (if they even get that far).

I had a client not too long ago who was literally shamed as an adult by a woman who was pretty insensitive and downright humiliating. He eventually got away from her (be on the look out for my new course, “Break Up Like A Man”) but with his current girlfriend he just kept avoiding sex and she was starting to express dismay and frustration. I was astonished that he didn’t just talk to her about it. No.

He just kept avoiding the whole thing like the classic “Elephant in the Room” that no one mentions.

I have seen this pattern repeatedly in my practice. Guys keep what’s really going on for them to themselves. This frustrates their women even more than not being pounded by a hard penis. After all, there are a ton of ways to satisfy a woman sexually besides the classic penis in vagina program.

So no matter what may have happened in your childhood or teens or whenever, the only way out of the trap of self imposed misery is to actually talk about the problem. But we don’t want to just talk about it ad nauseum because like most forms of anxiety, re-hashing the problem usually reinforces it and makes it worse.

So first of all, we want to mostly talk about how natural and normal our sexual feelings and desires are… to ourselves.

That’s right.

There needs to be a shift in your own belief system so that you can dump the old belief that you have “sexual problems” and install a new more powerful belief that, you are a naturally and profoundly sexual being and it is your birthright to bring your sexual gifts to your woman (or women). AND that women are also naturally and profoundly sexual beings and it is their birthright to receive your gifts where and when appropriate. Mutual consent between caring adults is beautiful.

The next step once you cut yourself some slack is to open up to your woman about what is really going on with you. 99 times out of 100 the problem is between your ears NOT your legs and it is temporary. Every man at some point will experience a time when he wants to perform but the “little brother” is not in the mood. Stop dreading it and shaming yourself for it. It happens to ALL of us.

The good news is it is NOT  a FAILURE. It is an OPPORTUNITY.

When guys open up to their partners about their sexual trauma or anxiety, their women typically open up their hearts (and arms and legs) as well.

This is not about becoming a whiny complainer, or attempting to manipulate her into feeling sorry for you. No. It’s just a simple, “hey, I’ve had some trauma in this area and I wonder if we can talk about it so that we can open our hearts and move past it”

No woman on this planet who is worth being with would EVER turn down that opportunity.

Ultimately it is in your greatest vulnerability as a man that your greatest potential for virility and empowerment comes.

Once this “Cat is out of the bag”, there is nothing to be afraid of. You can relax. She can relax. And usually great sex follows.

It helps to have a massive throbbing arsenal of powerful mind mastery tools at your disposal as well. In “Master Your Mojo”, sexually adventurous, action taking members of Transformation Nation are discovering how to interrupt negative states and literally install peak performance sexual states into their own neurology so that they can instantly trigger the appropriate physiological response… Erect. Rock Hard. Massive. Pleasure.

AND what’s even better, once you understand how to do this for yourself, you can literally anchor HER peak sexual states as well so you can fire up her furnace of desire faster, easier better… whenever you want…

So my friend. If you have ever experienced any kind of sexual shame or trauma, it is NOT the death sentence to your love life that you have been fearing. It could very well be the opportunity to plunge deeper into the magnificence that is you being the man of YOUR dreams… attracting and bedding the women of your dreams.

If you have any thoughts or questions or subjects you would like me to reflect upon in future videos, click the button below and contact me today.

Let’s talk…