One of my endless quests here at Honest Hypnosis is to understand what is REALLY going on between the ears of modern men and women. Look around. Most men AND women seem to be confused, frustrated and miserable.
LONELINESS IS RAMPANT PEOPLE!
Marriages don’t last. Relationships start out with lots of love and devolve into quiet desperation. I see so many guys who are in a lot of pain because they can’t seem to attract the kinds of women they actually want. And I see a lot of women who can’t seem to find ANY men. All they see are whiny, desperate, porn addicted BOYS.
This short video presents a compelling argument against the extremes of masculine “roles” or archetypes. On the one hand are guys who have bought into the idea that they must sacrifice themselves to PROVIDE for the woman… and the classic “alpha, bad boy, jerk” who basically wants to spread his genes EVERYWHERE. These bad boys couldn’t care less about a woman as anything other than a convenient receptacle for their sperm…
What do YOU think?
As a man, when I “fancy” a woman. I DO want to take care of her and provide for her. I want to be her hero. AND I want to practice making babies ALLL the fucking time. But after years of “practicing” and “failure” a few things have become clear.
A true alpha male is able to bring both of these energies to the “romantic table.” He is powerful AND compassionate. He is a LEADER who is passionate about his LIFE. And high quality women want to be a part of his life… But he qualifies THEM.
A few keys to flipping the frame are simple (but not easy).
- Stop trying to buy a woman’s attraction. Stop “giving to get.”
- Stop being mad at women for accepting your resources but not giving you the sex you think she should give you back. It’s part of their genetic code for SURVIVAL.
- Be generous but not stupid.
- Stop with “one-itis.” Stop with putting women up on pedestal. Stop giving your power away to women. Be AWARE that there are many, many women who will respond to either Provider or Bad Boy archetypes. Being a wimp doesn’t work. And being an arrogant shithead is a surefire recipe for misery as well.
- BEGIN to practice being AUTHENTICALLY in charge of your own life…
As a man who adores women. I’ve struggled with this dichotomy for a long time. My mother “hypnotized” me into attempting to becoming “the good man.” She was an ardent feminist who convinced me that wanting to have sex with women without being in a monogamous relationship first was “bad.”
“Don’t look at women like their pieces of meat!” she would exhort…
So of course the more she told me not to… the more I wanted to… but that served to convince me that somehow I was a bad man for wanting to look at women’s bodies.
Huh? Yeah. Can you relate?
Sex was supposed to be the ultimate expression of love. Sex without love was misogynistic and evidence of the oppressive male dominant “Patriarchy” that was the cause of everything bad that ever happened to women (according to my mother and other feminists at the time).
Women say they want this wonderful guy who treats them like a princess. Who is sensitive to their needs. Who is there for them. Who shows up. Who they can count on. Who they feel safe with. Who isn’t only interested in them for the sex etc.
But their unconscious minds discount this guy as a “sucker.” A woman’s unconscious genetic programming is looking for good genetics, protection, and provision. THIS is the female survival strategy.
And it worked like a charm for the first couple of million years.
The strongest men, the best hunters, the leaders, the bravest warriors, the survivors stimulated a female’s desire to mate… and those guys got the most desire-able women. Those women got the most desire-able men. It was a win/win.
BUT. Those guys didn’t always live a long time. They were risk takers. They were often in harm’s way.
So to SURVIVE and help her children to SURVIVE, she HAD to have a “back up plan” which usually works out to couple of “nice guy wanna be’s” (beta males) waiting in the wings for when the chief got bumped off…
Being physically weaker than warrior males, women had to use indirect forms of power to get what they needed to protect themselves and their children. They had to be flexible. They had to be able to switch sides at a moment’s notice. They had to be able to keep men interested and “on the hook” often without giving up their edge which was the possibility of mating…
For the survival of the species.
But now? WTF?
Things are confusing to most good men. Ethical, caring, compassionate men. Men who are fully in support of a woman’s equality and right to choose. Men who applaud women as they accomplish more and more in the formerly male arena of achievement.
And THOSE high achieving warrior women? Who are THEY attracted to? Are they attracted to this wonderful nice guy who is so encouraging and supportive?
Amazing women are attracted to MEN not BOYS.
Amazing women are attracted to men who are even more badass than THEY are.
So guys. If you want high quality, high status, hot, smart, amazing women, be prepared to change your approach to the entire field of dating, romance, and love.
And that starts with your MIND. It starts with questioning what you were taught by your parents, teachers, church, etc.
Great love is still possible.
In fact deep, satisfying, intimate, fun, sexy, romantic, heathy relating IS possible. But being a “nice guy” isn’t going to get it for you. And being an “Asshole Jerk” is just a false act of puffed up machismo bravado that may get you laid but not loved.
The key is to “Pledge allegiance to your self for the sake of your own health.” (from my song “Freedom” from my “Key To Your Cage” album)
Focus on what YOU want out of YOUR life. Seek out and pursue YOUR PURPOSE. And your purpose is not to provide everything for a women’s ease and benefit just because she happens to be pretty.
Your purpose is ultimately the thing you will not give up for ANYONE.
Not a woman, not your parents. No one and nothing. A woman can beautifully compliment your purpose. But if YOU don’t have a purpose for your life, someone else will attempt to hijack it for THEIR purposes.
My purpose is to create a life where I can make the kind of music I want to make, the way I want to make it, WHEN I want to make it. Everything I do for over 40 years now has been to serve that purpose. All the hypnosis stuff. All the research into human behavior, health, healing etc. everything has always been me attempting to clear the crap that stood in the way of this purpose. One day I realized that my patterns with women and relationships were part of the problem. My mother didn’t support me being a musician and everything I internalized from her said, “give up your dream. Provide for your family. Sacrifice for the feminine imperative.”
A man MUST challenge this shit. A Man MUST seek out his purpose FIRST.
YOUR PURPOSE is something that energizes and attracts you MORE than any woman ever could. Your PURPOSE is something bigger than you. Something endlessly fascinating and emotionally compelling. It’s something that your woman has to accept about you. Something that she knows comes FIRST. BEFORE HER.
If a woman tries to get you to put aside your purpose and take on hers instead, you have just lost her. It was a test.
If you tell her “no!” (and mean it) you have just made yourself even more attractive to her. Does that make any kind of sense?
What the best women truly want is a man who is complete, empowered, self directed, strong, healthy, and NOT CONTROLLABLE by a woman.
And women subconsciously test this all the time. YOUR job as a man is to work on YOURSELF, FOR YOURSELF. Enjoy women. Appreciate them. Delight in their company. But stop chasing them. Stop giving them everything. Stop “selling” them on what a good guy you are. Stop supplicating. Stop begging. AND stop bullying and berating.
Instead BECOME the kind of man YOU dream about becoming. You will discover that the authentic man you truly are is the man they DREAM about.
This is not an “instant fix.” There is no “pickup line” that will magically deliver all the hottest women to you and keep them cumming back for more.
The progress and development of “senior male energy” as one of my former girlfriends called it, takes experience. Experience takes TIME.
And we are all running out of time. So it just might be time to get to work.
It’s time to get to work on YOU. Not on attempting to impress her, or women in general. You mastering YOU is the hottest thing you can do for HER.
It’s a bit of a paradox. But it’s an AMAZING win/win as this path with heart unfolds. YOU get to live a great life with lots of freedom and choices. SHE gets BOTH a provider AND a powerful man who is not chained to the “matrix”. She also gets a man that she clearly knows has lots of choices when it comes to women. This causes her to never take you for granted (which is good for both of you).
If you are open minded about mastering your mind for a change in this extremely vital area of your life, check out my “Better Man Blueprint.” It’s an ongoing program for self motivated men who want it all. At the moment it is not even available. other than through this link. It’s new. And I constantly add to it. It’s like having me in your corner of YOUR championship life.
A Better Man. A Better Life. Better Women. Less Strife.
Thoughts? Questions? Examples? I want to hear from you. Contact me.
I WILL answer.