What’s the difference between self importance and self worth?
Self importance is actually an indicator of low self worth and requires the opinions of others to confirm it…
If you have high self worth, you don’t need anyone else to prop it up.
If you require other people to constantly acknowledge your value, then you are not sure of your own value.
This hit me really hard years ago when I realized that I was performing my music for the approval of other people… and invariably they didn’t approve enough! OR, someone from the audience would come up after the show and give me what they thought was “helpful feedback”, and I’d be devastated (sometimes for DAYS).
Please Note for a future discussion: Self importance and self pity are totally linked.
It was so painful for me that I quit performing and started painting. The cool thing was, I had no attachment to whether anyone liked my paintings. I honestly just didn’t care! As a totally untrained visual artist, I paint like a damn kindergartner. I just play with colors.
Whatever. I paint on a canvas until I like looking at it. And then I stop. If you like looking at it, great. If not, that’s cool too.
So on the surface self worth seems like narcissism. Because you are honestly telling yourself and anyone else who cares to listen,
“Yeah I AM awesome!”
It can also seem “uncaring” because it’s a place where you actually don’t care what anyone else thinks or says.
But it’s an internal truth NOT something that anyone else can confirm.
For you to look in the mirror and totally love and accept yourself REGARDLESS of what anyone else thinks of you is the ultimate goal.
If you’re out in the wilderness and a lion is stalking you, are you offended by that?
You don’t have time to be offended! Because the lion is just doing what lions do. Protect yourself. Get out of the lion’s reach. But don’t take it personally or be offended by it. Being upset and offended literally robs you of resourcefulness. It’s an energy drain.
Ultimately that’s our goal with other people. We want to stop being “offended” by their thoughts, their actions, their gossip, their judgment and enjoy what they have to teach us about ourselves! We may still have to protect ourselves from their actions. But their thoughts about us are all about THEM. I can’t quite express to you how freeing this one concept is.
Here’s the video:
And just because we believe we are amazing and fabulous and perfect just the way we are, it doesn’t stop us from always improving. And when other people give us feedback, it may be helpful or it may not be helpful. Take what supports your growth and let go of the rest.
There’s a lot more to explore with this topic but that’s enough for today! :o)
Play with these “Why” and “How” questions in support of today’s Mind Mastery Transformation Thoughts:
- Why am I fvcking AMAZING? (I will often tap on the EFT meridian points while saying these and I’ve found that for me using cuss words really helps to take the intensity up a notch, which seems to help really get the point across to my unconscious mind)
- Why do I care what I think?
- Why do I stop taking other people’s opinions personally?
- Why do I deeply and completely accept myself? Right now as a fabulous “work in progress”?
- How can I love myself even more today?
Join the revolution in personal transformation!
– Mark
Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…
P.S. I’m working on creating a sweet new intro course that will set the foundation for you to absolutely rock your own world in the best possible way! It’s a powerful short course on how to stop worry, stress and negative thinking…
It will be free (for a while at least :o) IF you’ve opted in with the handy yellow form…
You HAVE opted in haven’t you? Cool. I’ll see YOU on the INSIDE!
