One of the biggest challenges a lot of my shy guy clients have is where to meet the kinds of women who might truly appreciate a quieter, more thoughtful kind of guy.
Almost without exception shy guys by nature have never been attracted to “Picking up chicks in bars or clubs.”
Where can shy guys meeting girls?
Shy guys with highly sensitive neurological systems tend to not like loud, crowded places. That is totally fine. You can find a whole world of women who feel the same way who are wishing someone like you would come into her life and offer her a new direction.
But you have to actually do something different than what you’ve been doing! Turn off your freaking computer and your TV and get out of the damn house. Or if you are the “Work late every night” type. You have to get out of the office by 5:00 pm at least one night a week and get OUT.
The strategy here is to expose yourself (no I don’t mean with your raincoat!) on a continual basis with groups of people who will give you a chance to be yourself. Places where the quiet, kind, compassionate person you are can be noticed.
Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:
Churches & Synagogues, Zen & Yoga Centers – Now, you don’t have to start going to some bible thumper fundamentalist wacky group or start growing your Hasidic earlocks (unless of course that’s your thing). There are plenty of normal people who are spiritual and who enjoy being inspired with other people in a community. If you’re not deeply religious but feel like you are a spiritual person check out the
- Unitarian Universalist Society or a Unity Church.
- Main Line Protestant Churches can be quite open as well. Presbyterians and Episcopalians can be great fun if you can get a little wine flowing…
- Another cool religion that you can check out and meet lots of intelligent open minded women is the Bahai Faith. They are all about world peace and are not about pressure or conversion quotas.
- Yoga centers also have spiritual but not necessarily religious gatherings that you can gently become a “regular” at.
- Zen Buddhism is a pretty low key spiritual path you might want to check out as well…
Face it. You are a selfish little prig who sits at home feeling lonely because you are self absorbed! Admit it! Being shy is all about worrying about your self. (I know this from personal experience)
Time to get up off your butt and out of the house to start volunteering for stuff. Now I’m not suggesting you volunteer at the battered women’s shelter because although you will meet women, you want to meet women who are “normal” or at least not as screwed up as battered women. Being a recovering nice guy you’ll attempt to try to “help” them. So forgot about shelters.
However, Animal shelters, are a whole different thing. Lots of women love animals and volunteer for organizations that have to do with rehabilitating hurt bunnies and kittens. Do some research. Find an organization you believe in and go volunteer. You may have to try a couple. One student of mine found an organization that used horses to help build self esteem with kids. They had a need for caring adults to walk the horses around the ring while the kids rode. He was the only guy. The rest were all very attractive women from their 20’s to their 50’s… Do it.
Chances are your cooking skills suck and could use some improvement. Chances are there are cooking classes being given all around you. Chances are you will be one of the few guys there. This is s no lose situation. The worst thing that could happen is you could actually learn how to make a decent meal for yourself. Best thing is that you could learn how to make a decent meal with one of the women you meet there.
Speaking of classes, check out this next idea…
Continuing Education Classes at Your Local Community College
Here are just a few courses from my local community college summer program:
- Massage Therapy
- Wine tasting
- Aikido – a martial art that attracts lots of women
- Tai Chi
- Intro to Adobe Photo Shop
- Italian Wines and Cheese
- French Cuisine
- Spanish Cuisine
- Hands On Archaeology
Community Supported Agriculture / Organic Farms / Farmers Markets
Into healthy outdoors type chicks? Volunteer at your local Organic Farm. Go to a farmers market and find the stand with the most attractive women. Ask them how you can help.
Once you begin to get comfortable with your new friends you can begin to incorporate some of the other strategies of comfortable, engaging, seductive conversation…
The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…
And here’s how
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