For years I thought seduction was something bad.
Something “bad” men did to “sweet” innocent women. Seduction in my mind was manipulative and corrupt. Seduction was “taking advantage” of a woman, tricking her into having sex with a man against her will.
So if I held that belief as a shy guy, of course I could do nothing remotely sexy with a woman. I had to be a safe, boring “nice guy.” God forbid somebody suspect that I was actually attracted to women sexually (or know how to give a women and endless series of earth shattering orgasms)!
It’s like I thought that in order to be successful with women, I had to be a bad person. I didn’t want to be a bad person so I choose to be a frustrated chump.
Can you relate to this at all?
Years of struggle and research later it really and finally dawned on me that:
- Women want to be seduced. Seduction is the dance of desire that women are neurologically wired for.
- Women love sex as much as guys do. In fact in most ways they are our sexual superior. They just want it in ways that are outside our male understanding. No one gave us the manual. For the average guy a woman’s “dials and gauges” are as complicated and intimidating as the cockpit of an F-16 fighter jet.
- Men may get turned on by a woman’s looks, her body type. It’s a visual stimulus response that we’ve developed over our life time. Women are stimulated by words, by stories, by the way they feel around a certain man. By Energy.
The greatest gift you can give to a woman is to get over your old shy guy routine and learn how to stop worrying about yourself and what others think and start creating sensual and rich experiences for women…they way they want it.
One of the best sources of information about this is from a brilliant teacher and NLP trainer named Ross Jeffries. Now when I first heard about him I thought he was anti-relationship and just about helping guys get laid at the expense of integrity. I was wrong.
Again I was operating under the old belief that seduction was bad.
Because Ross Jeffries is all about getting guys results. I have since learned that he is more than anything an advocate for a woman’s right to be able to feel the kinds of feelings most women long to feel but most guys are clueless about how to deliver.
For me personally, I recently had two experiences that “forced” me to take my own seduction skills to the next level.
- I met a woman on match.com who I fell in love with and totally scared off because I was too honest and direct!
- As consolation I chatted up a lovely barista in Starbucks and totally bumbled and blundered my way through trying to get her phone number.
Now in my new world view both of those experiences were successes because I actually did something other than what I used to do in my shy guy days.
But, the feedback I gave myself was. “Time to learn what to do with the ones I really want.” I was doing well with the women I wasn’t that interested in but the ones I really was attracted to? Crash and burn.
The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…
And here’s how
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