We hear the term a lot in the world of men, young and old…
Approach Anxiety
What is it? In it’s simplest form it is the anxiety felt by guys at the prospect of walking up to a woman and saying “hi!”.
Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?
Dating and Seduction Guru Ross Jeffries tells the story of a friend of his who is an Air Traffic Controller. Cool as can be faced with dozens of airplanes full of people flying towards his airport control tower, he is powerful and in control. Put a beautiful woman in front of him and he goes to pieces. Hands tremble. Voice cracks. Feels sick to his stomach. The whole panic attack physiological response as if he is gonna die!
This is so much of a problem that a billion dollar industry was born.
This is great because somehow we guys are brought up in this culture mostly clueless as to how to interact with women in a way that is authentic and comfortable for both sexes.
The guys that seem to get the chicks are in many ways vastly inferior to what many good (but shy) men have to offer. The difference is that the “jerks” don’t really care what women think of them. They aren’t afraid of rejection. So they just wade in to the “shark infested waters” of approaching women and get the job done. Unfortunately they leave a lot of hurt and pissed off women in their wake. But they don’t take it personally because they do not care.
We don’t want to be like those bullies or jerks…
But we still want to be with awesome, hot, sexy women.
The shy guy in contrast to the “jerk” is standing in the wings worried about what she will think. Worried about what the other people in the immediate vicinity will think. He’s worried about what to say. He’s worried about what not to say. He’s running movies in his mind of her snarling at him or humiliating him or just not responding.
Sometimes overcoming shyness is a painfully long process. But it doesn’t have to be.
One key ingredient in creating a shift in yourself is to examine what you are making things mean. In other words, if you say “hi” to an attractive woman and can’t think of anything else to say, you make it mean you are a “failure” a “loser.” You say harsh and critical things to yourself.
If another guy says “hi” to a woman and then crashes and burns, he pats himself on the back and gives himself credit for making progress.
Does that make sense?
BTW This is a Law of personal transformation. It applies in every area of your life. If you are moving out of your comfort zone and beat yourself up for everything you don’t do perfectly you will never make progress. I see this a lot with the anxiety sufferers I work with (both men and women). The clients of mine who make the most progress the fastest are quick to learn how to be gentle with themselves in their learning curve.
Think about this. When you were learning to walk, you fell down. A lot. You didn’t curse yourself out or get depressed. You just freaking got back up and gave it another shot.
That’s a key point.
How can you take “baby steps” with this approach anxiety stuff that has your guts all twisted around?
One place to start is by saying “hi!” to everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Everywhere you go. Make it a practice to say “hi”. Keep a record of how many times you said hi each day.
Once you get to the place where you can comfortably be the guy who is friendly to everyone.
If you can’t get yourself to say “hi” then you need some one on one coaching from me or you may need to get my Crush Anxiety program and learn the 7 key techniques that can blast any kind of anxiety (not just approach anxiety) in a few short minutes.
The bottom line is that you do not have to be miserable and alone. You can stop suffering today. So take some positive action step right now. Today. It’s simple. Just say “hi”…
If you are reading this in a coffee shop get up off your butt and go say “hi” to somebody right now.
Got it? Good. Do it.
If NOW is the right time to take action click the button below…
How to stop being shy around beautiful women
Got questions? I have answers and I want you to have them, so…