Do you keep your appointments with yourself?
Me neither. At least until recently.
I would start off with the best intentions. Filled with passionate motivation to finally be consistent… and every time I would be distracted by something else and then kind of drop that promise to myself…
I hit a moment of truth last Fall October of 2014 will forever be that MOMENT.
The moment of truth. No more bullshit. No more excuses. Peak performance MUST become a default setting in my life.
I think the story that just popped in to my head will help to illustrate my point:
I had fallen in love with an amazingly beautiful woman. I took this course with Adam Gilad called “the Boldness Code” and it helped me to build up my balls enough to go for this woman. I refused to take no for an answer from her and she fairly quickly relented and reciprocated with sexual grooviness. But at some point she decided to put me in the fucking friend zone.
And I am fucking ashamed to admit to you guys that I just did ABSOLUTELY all the stupid “guy stuck in the friend zone” shit.
I made her 3 kick ass websites, I took photographs to go along with the videos I edited for her. Jesus! I was so in love with her and I guess I was pathetically trying to “get her to love me back” with all this love and support that I just poured into the bottomless pit of her heart.
The good guy style. The NICE guy shit.
and then my MOMENT came.
One day I had done a presentation for her organization and a ton of people were there and gave her money for her big social project and she was playing one of my CD’s… songs that I had written for her. And it hit me hard how absolutely unaffected by them she was.
It was like she tuned out that frequency of her life.
She was fucking clueless how much I loved her and how much it hurt me to not be in her life romantically…
I was being a total idiot (so that I could create a course to help you NEVER EVER get caught by that shit) but I have learned that there is a moment to totally and completely release a woman.
And I have learned HOW TO STOP BEING IN LOVE WITH THE WOMAN WHO IS BREAKING YOUR HEART…
How to stop loving a woman who will never, ever, fucking love you back.
Yeah. That’s the course title. MMMMMMmmmm Fuck yeah.
“How To Stop Being In Love With The Woman Who Is Breaking Your Heart”
So I did several specific things that instantaneously enabled me to shake her off like a Labrador Retriever shakes after going swimming. I was able to literally drop her from my neurological list of people who I remotely give a shit about.
I Just STOPPED. I had to stop loving her at my own expense. So I DID.
She was taking my resources and giving nothing back. Classic tribal shit. She was so deep in her own survival mode that she was literally using me to get her shit out into HER world. She would literally keep me on the emotional hook by flirting with me over the phone. Then in person she was distant and remote, all business. Classic push pull, hot, cold. Robert Greene in his Book “The Art of Seduction” identifies it as the “coquette” seduction style.
All I can say is It worked really well on me. I was a total “mark” for the damsel in distress archetype. Even with all my training. Even with all my experience. Click. whirr, buzz. My unconscious mind grabbed the bait and got stuck on the hook.
NOT HER FAULT!
I HAD TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FACT THAT I CREATED IT.
The real issue (The issue beneath the “surface structure” of “romantic unrequited love” was that I had abandoned myself and my own projects to try to win her love. What a dumbass thing to do. But we guys all have done it.
I’d lost sight of my own projects while I was following her around like a highly talented and experienced, expensive even, puppy dog.
I had committed myself to her like a knight in shining armor to the “lady of the castle”.
But the real issue was clear. I had to do another level of work on myself. And it had to be decisive.
I decided she no longer had access to my heart, my time, my talent or my resources.
It was time for me to get The hell away from her without blame or anger and simply focus on keeping my own appointments with myself. It was time to focus on getting MY OWN SHIT OUT INTO THE FUCKING WORLD.
And that is what brings me to today’s thought of the day.
Key to Cowabungah: Keep your appointments with your self.
A high status man keeps his appointments with himself. He may love his woman or women, but he literally puts himself first.
Ironically she will him for it (but that’s a topic for a different post)
This is the first part of Paying Yourself First.
It may seem selfish at first but you will find with time that you doing your thing, putting yourself and your needs FIRST, makes you a way better human. More honest. More successful. More powerful. Most people are so afraid of other people’s opinions that they go to their graves with their great dreams unfulfilled.
Don’t let that be you. You are meant for something bigger, thicker, longer.
So your assignment today is to start keeping your promises to yourself. Keep your appointments with yourself to put working on you, on your dream, on your big project that will change the fucking world. Because it WILL change the fucking world.
YOURS. It will make your world one totally worth living in.
And that’s the point. We will all be dead for a very long fucking time. When are you going to start doing the shit you actually could do before you croak? Next year? Next decade? What the fuck are you waiting for? Your mommy’s permission? Your daddy to hold your hand? That woman who you are pining for who doesn’t really “get” you or appreciate you?
Do not let the people who raised you hold you down or hold you back. Get over the fact that they won’t get it and fucking go for your dream.
Now back to me and to the lesson here.
This very blog post is the result of a promise I made a week and a half ago to myself. I will post here at Cowabungah every single day. Without fail. And tonight I almost didn’t keep my promise to myself. Tonight I looked back on a fabulous, successful day, 2 new clients booked, appointments paid in advance. I premiered a new song on MarkShepardSongs.com: Made a video this morning. edited it, uploaded it and emailed and posted it. Then I did module 14 of “Master Your Mojo”…. after that I worked in my garden, then I worked with a client, and finally took a walk in the cool of the evening with a tall lovely woman…
When I got home I realized I hadn’t done my daily blog post, “Rant”, “musing”, “monologue” Diatribe… whatever you want to call it…
but now I have. and it’s ten minutes to midnight. Cowabungah!
Do this in your own life. It will rock your world. Keep your promises to you. Let everybody else wait…. in….. line……
I promise. It. Will. Rock. Your. World.
(My next appointment with myself? Bed)
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