Honest Hypnosis

Master Your Mind... for a Change

Dating

Ross Jeffries Demonstrates Putting A Woman In Trance

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This is from the recent New York City Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar that I attended.

(In fact, I’m in this video! That’s the back of my head in the foreground of the shot!) You can’t quite see it in this video because of the back-lighting but this young woman definitely looked “spaced out,” “tranced out” or slightly drunk.

But sitting there in the room I could literally see the transformation happen.

More comments below the video…

The point I’m trying to make for you shy guys is two fold.

First of all, I was sitting in a room of 50 guys who basically all admitted to being either currently or formerly as painfully shy as you.

Second, Each of those guys was only different from you in that they actually had reached a point where they were no longer able to accept their lot in life and they took action!

In my opinion the best part of the seminar was not the demos. It was the belief change work Ross did with the group in order to eradicate the crappy thinking patterns that guys have either been trained into or have self hypnotized themselves into around women. There is so much garbage drilled into both men and women in our screwed up culture that by the time you reach adulthood, you need some serious personal work to clear it.

Not just you. All of us.

You can save a lot of time and money and pain by getting help.

Check out my new course…

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

On a more serious note, If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.

Getting Rid Of Shyness Around Women

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5928111_sWhat to do when it seems like you’ve tried everything to get over shyness?

Maybe you’ve tried just about everything, like NLP, CBT, Hypnosis, PUA coaching, 3D Mind, Group Therapy, Shamanic Drumming, Chinese water torture etc… You get the idea.

Well, I got an e-mail this morning from a young guy who you may be able to relate to…

Hello Mark,

I’m emailing you because I saw your website and it makes a lot of sense.

I’ll tell a bit about me first: my name is John, I’m 21 years old, I’m not a virgin but I’m very very shy around women, in presentations and even with guys. And I’ve been to a CBT practitioner, 1 hypnotherapist, 1 nlp and hypnotherapist trainer and had sessions with him for over a year. Then I though that I needed to push myself and actually approach so I contacted some PUA instructors in London and went on the street with one for 16 hours during 2 days and it was really really painful to do.

I’ve also done a NLP practitioner course and am doing the Master Practitioner right now, but the thing about NLP is that I know the theory but I’m not getting the results I want.

Last April I did a course with one of Ross Jeffries ex girlfriend called Kim Mcfarland and her partner Tom Vizinni on this method they created called 3D Mind which they say is better then NLP. But I’ve been using it for 7 months and got no results.

And very recently I’ve been reading the book from Bandler called “Get the life you want” which is very clear in how to change beliefs and sub modalities and that’s what I’m going to attempt to do in the next few days (which is similar to what you say in your website)
I’ve also been doing the daily missions of a book by Neil Strauss called “The Rules of the Game” and found it really hard to ask the time or directions to strangers.

The bottom line of this email is that I really really need to get this handled and I’m looking for a way that actually works. Could you please give me your opinion on what I should do to get this handled once and for all?

Regards,

John

Here are a few of my thoughts.

Obviously without working personally with John I can’t do more than make suggestions. I’d be happy to hear from you as well. Use the contact info at the bottom of this article. Now here’s my answer:

Dear John,

Since you have done so much and gotten such little results my question to you is…. What are you “getting” out of not changing?

Since you’ve taken NLP courses you are no doubt familiar with secondary gain. You need to sit down and take some quiet time with a journal and ask your unconscious mind: “Hey unconscious mind, what’s really going on here? What is it you are really trying to do for me?”

Then be quiet and write down whatever comes up.

Every behavior has a positive intention.

Your Unconscious mind is trying to protect you from what it perceives as potentially harmful. I don’t know if you’ve used any Time Line Therapy® techniques to clear the limiting decisions around this area for you or not. If would be worth checking into. There’s usually some decision we’ve made as kids that is underneath this kind of stuff  stops us even though we consciously want to move forward. I find that quite often Time Line succeeds where other techniques have not as long as we deal with the issue of secondary gain.

Which can be a bit tricky.

My experience has been that when a person has tried every technique in the world and none of it works, it’s not the techniques. There’s some powerful conflict at the unconscious level that is in operation.

Another thought I have is that the direct Pick Up Approach may not be the best match for you. Personally, even though I now easily say hello to women on the street or wherever, I met my awesome girlfriend through match.com. I just found that talking to random women who happened to look good, wasn’t really the ideal way for me to find the kind of woman who had the personality and the life style values I was looking for. Learning to say “hi” wherever and whenever was definitely helpful in my growth and I still practice it all the time, but…Match.com and other sites like it exist for a reason.

There are a number of skill sets that are required of the dating site approach, but they are easily learnable and you know those women WANT to meet men.

Ross Jeffries pointed out at his recent NYC Speed Seduction Seminar something that is so obvious most of us guys totally miss it: “Women suffer from approach anxiety as much, if not more than shy guys or nice guys.”

Is it possible after all the workshops and 1:1 work that you are still focused on your self and your own fears of rejection rather than on her? Have you tried focusing on a woman and noticing something interesting about her and simply asking her to tell you the story of how she got it? I’m assuming you “get” that right?

Or is that still way out of your comfort zone?

Another approach is to embrace your shyness and use it. There are women out there in the world who are actually discovering that it pays to pursue the shy guy… Google “Shy Guy Help” and notice on the first page of google there are some links to articles written for women about how to snag the shy guy!

The bottom line is: If what you are doing isn’t working then try something else.

Turn it around and find a way to use whatever you are going through to learn and grow…It’s not always a quick fix.By some miracle I got married at age 21 (she picked me up in the college library) after 13 years of marriage, I mustered the courage to leave…hardest thing I ever did…thought I was going to die…that was in 1997. It has taken me dozens of relationships and hard, hard work on myself to get to the place where today I am in an incredible relationship with an amazing woman.

Hopefully your learning curve will be shorter and easier than mine. Just keep in mind that this may be hard work. But it is some of the best work you can do and it’s work that will radiate outwards into every area of your life.

All the best!

Mark

Check out:

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

On a more serious note, If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!

Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.

How to Stop Being Stuck in the Friend Zone

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Beautiful young womanIt happened again, didn’t it?

You feel so attracted and head over heels in love with this gorgeous woman. She even seems to like you…but only as a friend.

What to do?

This is one of the biggest areas of pain and frustration for shy guys. Here’s what we do to shoot ourselves in the foot.

Three things to avoid at all costs!

1. When we’re attracted to a woman we become helpful.

The moment a guy starts helping a woman out, with those wonderful nerdy skills with computers or fixing things or whatever, it causes her to put you in the FRIEND ZONE. If you make yourself valuable to a woman it does not cause her to think romantic thoughts about you, because then if it ends “who will fix my computer?”

2. When we’re attracted to a woman we want to listen and be supportive.

WRONG! Do not become a woman’s therapist. let them pay someone to bitch and moan about all their jerky boyfriends. The moment a woman starts to ask you for advice you must learn how to shut it down and turn the conversation towards the feelings and experiences she wants to have romantically.

Ross Jeffries basically says, “I tell a woman point blank when she asks me for advice, ‘Women don’t f#$k guys who give them advice.’ then I change the subject.”

3. When we’re attracted to a woman we shut down our masculine sexuality or hide our real intentions

We’re afraid of scaring her away or we’re afraid of being too forward, or we’ve bought in to some old cultural programming about what women want or what we think women don’t want.

Face it. Be honest.

YOU WANT MORE THAN JUST TO BE “FRIENDS” don’t you? What would happen if you were just honest?

Here’s a personal story. God this is embarrassing…

I was raised by a feminist mother… All I heard about growing up was how bad it was that men saw women as “pieces of meat”.  Strong alpha male types were basically identified as the cause of every problem for the last 100,000 years. So I shut that part of me down. I didn’t want to be a bad man.I wanted to one of the good guys…

At one point I ended up in a sexless marriage (she had originally picked me up at the college library) and I went to this new age healing class as part of my desperate attempts to figure stuff out. At one point the teacher made me go around the room and admit to every woman in the class (of course i was the only guy) that I found each one of them attractive and wanted to have sex with her. It was hugely freeing. And interestingly none of them tried to claw my eyes out.

The lesson (aside from the fact that New Age healing retreats are great places to meet women) is that

  1. Women like sex.
  2. Women want to be desired by men.
  3. Women are attracted to strong men who will… you get the idea

The other thing is that even if a woman says she doesn’t want anything more than friendship, women change their minds all the time. But you are not going to change her mind by telling her what you think she wants to hear or by being extra nice and patient with her.

You might change her mind by honestly telling her what you want and being okay with her not wanting it and walking away.

Another shy guy/nice guy thing we do is take a woman’s first statement as unalterable fact.

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Transforming ourselves from the classic nerds into the kinds of men who the women we want desire, doesn’t mean we ever have to become remotely like the jerks who seem to get all the women. There is another kind of man who we can become. The kind of man who women fantasize about…

The kind of guy who honestly tells her what he wants (without bullying, begging or buying) and who is willing to walk away if she’s not into him…because he has unlimited options.

Becoming that guy is not an instant fix. But it can happen a lot faster if you actually get some help along the way.

I have years of experience helping people overcome fears, phobias and anxiety. If you can’t even get yourself to talk to a woman, I can help you stop stopping yourself.

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

Or just leave a comment below 🙂

Dating & Relationships Are About Learning

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38975230_mI had a conversation with one of my NLP students today.

Sandy is a wonderful gay woman who I’ve enjoyed watching grow over the years. She mentioned that she had recently ended a relationship and while she was sad, she wasn’t devastated and she felt like she had learned a lot. I think she said something to the effect of things were definitely getting better.

I immediately felt one of those inspirations strike. This applies to any one of any sex or orientation but especially to those of us who love and are attracted to women….ready?

Here it is:

When love ends: “Better & better is better than bitter! Now go out & find some one better & bed her!”

That’s all I’m going to say today.

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

Or just leave a comment below 🙂

Best Places to Meet Women If You Are a Painfully Shy Guy

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19026293_sOne of the biggest challenges a lot of my shy guy clients have is where to meet the kinds of women who might truly appreciate a quieter, more thoughtful kind of guy.

Almost without exception shy guys by nature have never been attracted to “Picking up chicks in bars or clubs.”

Where can shy guys meeting girls?

Shy guys with highly sensitive neurological systems tend to not like loud, crowded places. That is totally fine. You can find a whole world of women who feel the same way who are wishing someone like you would come into her life and offer her a new direction.

But you have to actually do something different than what you’ve been doing! Turn off your freaking computer and your TV and get out of the damn house. Or if you are the “Work late every night” type. You have to get out of the office by 5:00 pm at least one night a week and get OUT.

The strategy here is to expose yourself (no I don’t mean with your raincoat!) on a continual basis with groups of people who will give you a chance to be yourself. Places where the quiet, kind, compassionate person you are can be noticed.

Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:

How to stop being shy around beautiful women

Spiritual Communities

Churches & Synagogues, Zen & Yoga Centers – Now, you don’t have to start going to some bible thumper fundamentalist wacky group or start growing your Hasidic earlocks (unless of course that’s your thing). There are plenty of normal people who are spiritual and who enjoy being inspired with other people in a community. If you’re not deeply religious but feel like you are a spiritual person check out the

  • Unitarian Universalist Society or a Unity Church.
  • Main Line Protestant Churches can be quite open as well. Presbyterians and Episcopalians can be great fun if you can get a little wine flowing…
  • Another cool religion that you can check out and meet lots of intelligent open minded women is the Bahai Faith. They are all about world peace and are not about pressure or conversion quotas.
  • Yoga centers also have spiritual but not necessarily religious gatherings that you can gently become a “regular” at.
  • Zen Buddhism is a pretty low key spiritual path you might want to check out as well…

Volunteer Organizations

Face it. You are a selfish little prig who sits at home feeling lonely because you are self absorbed! Admit it! Being shy is all about worrying about your self. (I know this from personal experience)

Time to get up off your butt and out of the house to start volunteering for stuff. Now I’m not suggesting you volunteer at the battered women’s shelter because although you will meet women, you want to meet women who are “normal” or at least not as screwed up as battered women. Being a recovering nice guy you’ll attempt to try to “help” them. So forgot about shelters.

However, Animal shelters, are a whole different thing. Lots of women love animals and volunteer for organizations that have to do with rehabilitating hurt bunnies and kittens. Do some research. Find an organization you believe in and go volunteer. You may have to try a couple. One student of mine found an organization that used horses to help build self esteem with kids. They had a need for caring adults to walk the horses around the ring while the kids rode. He was the only guy. The rest were all very attractive women from their 20’s to their 50’s… Do it.

Cooking Classes

Chances are your cooking skills suck and could use some improvement. Chances are there are cooking classes being given all around you. Chances are you will be one of the few guys there. This is s no lose situation. The worst thing that could happen is you could actually learn how to make a decent meal for yourself. Best thing is that you could learn how to make a decent meal with one of the women you meet there.

Speaking of classes, check out this next idea…

Continuing Education Classes at Your Local Community College

Here are just a few courses from my local community college summer program:

  • Massage Therapy
  • Reiki
  • Wine tasting
  • Aikido – a martial art that attracts lots of women
  • Tai Chi
  • Yoga
  • Intro to Adobe Photo Shop
  • Italian Wines and Cheese
  • French Cuisine
  • Spanish Cuisine
  • Hands On Archaeology

Community Supported Agriculture / Organic Farms / Farmers Markets

Into healthy outdoors type chicks? Volunteer at your local Organic Farm. Go to a farmers market and find the stand with the most attractive women. Ask them how you can help.

Once you begin to get comfortable with your new friends you can begin to incorporate some of the other strategies of comfortable, engaging, seductive conversation…

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

Or just leave a comment below 🙂

Shy Guy Help From Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar

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6378297_mRoss Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar Review Part 2

As I mentioned in my last article, I had the chance to attend Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar in New York City recently. I wanted to quickly share a few of the mind opening discoveries that as Ross would say himself, “set him head and shoulders above any other dating coach,” dating guru, self help teacher, dating adviser, pick up artist teacher.

Are you ready?

Here is one of the most powerful concepts Ross Shared:

“Teaching is about transforming consciousness” – Ross Jeffries

He went on to demonstrate a classic hypnosis technique called “pacing current experience” that he would be weaving in to his program throughout the weekend.

He said:

“Some of what I teach will be familiar, some of what I teach will be somewhat new. some of what I teach my seem strange…” – Ross Jeffries

Later on he would teach us how to use the same method when leaving voice mail message with women…

One of the next key pieces he laid out for us was essentially why we were all there. The majority of the audience consisted of men who were shy as well as men who fell into the classic “nice guy” syndrome. Ross was clear on what it was they all wanted:

“to have choice, predictability, control, power and select-ability with women without being a Jerk or a Begger,  a Buyer or a Bully in order to get our desires fulfilled.

The “nice guy” finishes last. The Pleasant Guy finishes first and sets the rules of the race.”

Ross then pointed out the difference between a “Nice Guy” and  “Pleasant Guy”

The nice guy gets sucked in to a woman’s emotional storms making her emotions his reality. He confuses enmeshment with compassion. The pleasant guy can see where a woman is at, what’s going on with her, but stays in his own power, grounded in his own energy and intent.

This to me felt like Ross Jeffries was ripping the filters off “reality”. If only I had known this one piece of wisdom back in my 20’s! What misery I could have avoided! Oh well.

Ross then went on to define pleasant:

“Pleasant is Power, held in restraint and exercised with precision, surrounded by a man’s own rules and standards.”

That’s all I have time for today. I’m on my way to pick up my gorgeous, goddess of a girlfriend at the airport.

The really important thing is just to be fully aware that you can realize the change you’re looking for…

And here’s how

Click the link below to:

Or just leave a comment below 🙂