I get a lot of mail from shy guys who struggle with the rejection monster.
If a woman doesn’t think they are attractive or doesn’t think positive thoughts about them, these guys feel it.
It hurts. It hits them hard.
How do you deal with rejection when approaching a woman? How to deal with the fear of rejection that keeps you from approaching a woman in the first place.
In response to an e-mail I got from Nick today, who specifically asked: “How can I not care what a woman thinks about me?” I wanted to share a few thoughts about dealing with rejection and anticipated rejection.
Dealing with rejection
First of all how do you know what a woman is actually thinking?
Chances are you are doing what we call in NLP a “Mind Read.” The truth is that she is probably not thinking about you at all. That’s actually worse than her thinking you are a jerk because if she is thinking you’re a jerk then at least she is thinking about you and not something or someone else.
Imagine her wanting you to introduce yourself.
Imagine her feeling lonely and horny and dreaming of the kind of guy who can truly and deeply connect and touch her the way she has always longed to be touched physically, spiritually, emotionally.
Secondly, in your own mind make yourself huge and tall like the Jolly green Giant…
Using this simple technique make her small and tiny way down below you. Or make yourself into the older wiser adult and her into a young naive girl who doesn’t have a clue.
Notice how that changes the dynamic.
Third, when approaching a woman or group of women, have some questions in mind
The key about the questions you ask is to get them to focus on the realm of dreams, indulgence, fantasy…get out of your own mind. By asking the right question you’ll get their attention tuned in on something fun and interesting that would anchor and trigger positive and even romantic experiences.
Here’s an example…
“Excuse me, can I ask you a question? If you could choose between an all expenses paid trip to Ireland or a trip to a tropical island which would you choose?” Whatever she answers ask “why?”
Your job is not to “grill” her but to get her to move from her everyday mind to the realm of fantasy and daydream where you can both have fun and play.
If it’s a group of women say, “Hey ladies, can I get a female opinion (or woman’s opinion) on something? A friend of mine is trying to decide whether to take his fiance to Ireland or to a tropical island in the Caribbean which is more romantic? What do you think?”
Questions that involve sensual feelings and positive emotions are excellent as well. Whatever they respond with it’s up to you to play with it and expand it. Get them to really see themselves there in their imaginations.
They will link that pleasure to you
If they are experiencing pleasure around you what’s to be afraid of? If she or they can’t go there it’s good information to know because then you don’t want to hang out with her/them.
If you are focused on something other than women thinking badly of you then that will take care of a lot of the problem.
Hope that helps!
Feel free to use the form below to submit any questions you might have. I promise to do my best to answer them as soon as I can.
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On a more serious note, If you are painfully shy and need help to stop being shy or coaching to change the old patterns and habits of belief and behavior that are keeping you lonely, reach out!
Interested in other hypnosis videos and self help programs? Got questions? I’m a real guy and I’m here for you with some honest answers so if you’d like to reach out and contact me that’s cool, let’s talk.